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World's Tallest Man Saves Dolphin

sjohnson
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Posted December 14, 2006 - By Stephen Johnson

Bao Xishun is a delightful Asian gentleman, and the tallest guy in the world. He's  7 feet, 8 inches tall! He's also a dolphin-saving expert.

Xishun saved the lives of two dolphins who swallowed some plastic in a Chinese aquarium. After inscrutable Eastern veteranarians failed to extract the detritus with their instruments, they called up Xishun and were like, "Dude, you have long arms; reach into their mouthes and pull the stuff out!"

So that's just what happened.

I'm going to write an inspirational Hollywood movie about the incident. Here's the pitch:

THEME: Everything happens for a reason: PLOT: A Mongolian man has an inexplicable growth spurt at age 16 until he's so tall he's close to an abomination. Everyone in Mongolia picks on him. He's too tall to fit in their tiny Chinese cars. He hates his life and wants only to be of a normal size.

Forty years pass. It's the day before Bao Xishun's shortening operation whereby he's having his legs severed at the knee with a scythe. A call comes in from China's version of the CIA.

It seems a couple of super-intelligent, wise-cracking dolphins who can cure cancer have swallowed some deadly explosives.  Bao Xishun has to decide between living as a normal-sized man or going to Bejing to save the dolphins. After fighting some terrorists and samurais, Bao makes it to the Capitol.

Bao snips the red wire with 00:001 seconds on the timer, and realizes his freakish height and super-long arms are gifts as opposed to curses. The two fish resume their lives of endlessly swimming in circles in a tiny tank. I'm thinking it should star Tom Cruise.

How about it Hollywood? Will you give me 80 Million dollars to make The Dolphin Savior?

BBC: World's tallest man saves dolphin

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