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Dark Corner Of Gaming: Cell Phone Sex Games

sjohnson
17 Comments

Posted August 31, 2006 - By Stephen Johnson

I'm too busy with my important jet-set lifestyle keep up with what's going on in the world of cell phone gaming. I use my phone to check movie times and call my mom.

But I guess some people like to use their cell phones to pretend to have sex with women. This harsh review of celly-sex-sim College Girls on Quickly Bored, a site that plays mobile games so I don't have to, got me looking into this sub-genre of games.

I don't see why anyone would play a sex game on their cell phone. Do you really need every waking second of your life taken up with smut? Maybe in the privacy of your house,  with your high-tech computer entertainment system and your next-generation gaming console machine rendering the hell out of  boobies, but a tiny cell screen just isnt' going to deliver.

And people only play mobile games when they're sitting on buses, right? Can you imagine if you heard the high-pitched squeak of cell-phone sex from the guy next to you on the 154 North? Creepy as hell.

Check out this list: Five pages of smutty java games you can play on the go.

Most of the games listed are some variation on the theme of puzzle-game-that-will-reveal-naked-lady-picture (as if anyone wants to work that hard to see some broad's cans) but some of the titles look intriquing.

Erotic Dream, in which "You have a dream in which you are the most favorite and most powerful male rabbit far and near" sounds adorable. 

And "How the Women Do This" has a delightful title. 

Honorable mention to "Girls Everywhere," a simple application that superimposes a figure into your camera's viewfinder so you can put an imaginary naked chick anywhere you want. That the kind of combination of desperation and creativity I support.

I don't want to play "Swingers" because I have no idea what this description means: "Meet with great adventure or even exciting play together in four?" and every actual swinger couple I've met has consisted of a lecherous fat guy with a dirty beard and his 50 year-old-wife. Swingers usually have bad teeth, too. I don't know why, but they do.

So, come clean on our comment section: Have you ever played an "erotic" cell phone game? How about an x-rated console or PC title? What do you think of players of these kind of game?

Dark Corner Of Gaming: Cell Phone Sex Games
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