Yesterday marked a glorious victory for Mankind when the courageous astronomers of the International Astronomical Union in Prague vanquished the evil planet Pluto from our solar system for all time.
"Thank God that bitch-ass planet is finally gone," astronomer Mike Brown, of the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena did not say. "Only eight more to go!" he did not add.
Pluto, long known for nefarious activities, was stripped of the title "planet" and relegated to the cosmological dead-end designation of "dwarf planet," joining more than 40 other losers like Ceres and 2003 UB313 in a confederacy of Universal failure.
How's it feel, Pluto? You crying yet, dwarf planet? Bwa-ha-ha!!
National Geographic: Pluto Not a Planet, Astronomers Rule