As a public service to Feed readers the world over, we're tasting disgusting snacks so you don't have to.
Today's snack: Clamato Tortilla Chips
The packaging looks nice, and I like things that are "NEW!" but the chips themselves are not nice. They're unholy orange/red wedges--really disturbing, like the Clamato chips are triangular flakes of Hell itself.
First, The Feed made our new intern Justin eat one. He didn't die, so I popped one in my mouth.
It was here my troubles began. The taste was...my god... I wasn't mentally prepared for the tangy, cloying, tomato extract mixed with grave-dust flavor of these chips. It's not so much a taste as a betrayal. They're dry. They hurt your tongue. They are an abomination of flavor.
They don't taste like clams at all, which probably a good thing, but it's still dishonest. Not only do Clamato chips taste like somone threw up in your mouth, they lie to you. This snack ruined my life.
But they're pretty crunchy.
Dana tried some next. Here's what she said:
SJohnson has no taste buds and his mother is a trout. He’s just jealous of the sheer awesome powerfulness of the Clamato Tortilla Chip. Its exoticness tortures his very soul and makes him regret his humdrum life. The flavor of clams and tomato on a tortilla chip sends shivers of inferiority up his spine.
I have tasted the power of the mighty Clamato Tortilla Chip! The shiny blue packaging called to me from the top row of the vending machine. It delicately whispered in my ear like a lover at sunset, “eat me, for I am tasty.”
Seriously, the Clamato Tortilla Chip is as good as it sounds. The hot pink chip is covered in some sort of unidentified delicious dust, it’s magic! These people just can’t get past the “clam” part. I can’t even taste any clam, these guys are pus*ies if you ask me. Clam pus*ies. Clamato Tortilla Chips are a snack revolution. I’m going to buy stock. They make me all tingly. Long live the clam-tomato-tortilla-chip fantasticness!
Actually, they just kinda taste like some sort of bastardized pizza thingy. Eh.
This serves so many purposes on the front of bad taste, it’s almost impossible to think of how it ever got made. First, the idea. Who, in their right mind, would be excited about the idea of tortilla chips with the taste of dried clams and tomato juice on them? Then, the taste, which has the wonderful quality of being at first a lot like old, dry Spaghetti-o’s, and finishes with the taste of puke that might be attained from too many Bloody Marys. Finally, they’re not only fattening, but have 40g of carbs in them. What this means that that they’re not only odious, but they taste terrible as well. For these and so many other reason, I’m forced to give Clamato Chips a tongue’s down.