Webmaster Hates You: To Do List


Posted June 26, 2006 - By Mike D'Alonzo

From: yugiohmaster_2006@XXXXX.com
Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 1:09 PM
To: webmaster
Subject: Re: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

what can i do on g4tv.com?

From: webmaster   
Sent: Monday, June 26, 5:13PM
To: yugiomaster

Subject: What can you do?

What can you do? What can you do? Jesus, the answer is what can't  you do. The possibilities are limitless. It's like a sprawling garden of information, open to you. Take a walk through the garden. Stop and smell the lingering perfume of cheat codes and reviews of PSP games. Trample the garden of earthly delight that is Formula D. Make a lean-to in our Midnight Spank zone, and drink deep the pierian spring that is Ed the Sock.

Oh, what delightful journey you have before you, master of the yu gi oh. May it be rainbows and cigarettes, warm undulating scented oils from the Orient, sweet spice from the boats of Indonesia, visuals from the Haight Ashbury district circa 1968, dreams and visions, sheiks, viscounts, and makers merry. Let the words of the Gods trickle from your lips like ripest fruit, and your thoughts become none but the sweet wine of knowledge and wisdom.

Soon, you might grow tired, sweet master, and layeth your head on our web-infested shores. There, a maiden fair may tempt you to remain, and should you do so, it's not out of the question that you would become a king of this land, and ascend to a throne of gold and wishes. It would be a good life, filled with the spoils of a living constituency and a century of prosperity the likes of which Rome would be envious of.

Then, as all things die, you too will die. There will be a procession of fine white horses and the residents of G4 will weep with great sadness to see our friend and king disappear over the rainbow bridge to Valhalla. There, you will become one with the heavenly firmament, and your face shall live among the stars until the end of days.

Of course, there's always Banzai, too.

Yours in wide wonder,

The Webmaster

Webmaster Hates You: To Do List


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