Hey, It's Manatee Season!

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Posted June 13, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

Florida, the land down under, is taking the beloved Manatee off the endangered species list, downgrading its condition from "endangered" to "threatened."

This is a dangerous step argue environmentalists who say that the population of the majestic animal could be drastically deminished over the next fifty years. The move marks yet another blantant attempt at thwarting the important environmental policy which has been helping to reverse the trend of human damage. Leave it to Florida to be the first to go backwards. I thought we worked so hard to establish stuff like this was important back in the early 90s with Earth Day and crap.

Anyway, Manatees are big fat herbivores who eat up to 15% of their body weight a day in vegetables. That's a lot of greens when you weigh over 1,000 pounds. The native Manatee population in Florida faced near extinction until it was placed on the endangered species list several years ago. In addition to being adorable, Manatees make fantastic welcome mats and their severed flesh is an excellent way to sharpen the propeller on your speedboat.

Starting today, Floridians will once again be able to purchase their "Let's All Kill Manatees" license from any area Wal-Mart. Also, the kiddies will get the first day of Manatee hunting season off of school so that the whole family can get into the fun! Remember, Manatees like to spend most of their time in the costal waters close to shore or in the system of canals that run through out Florida, so rev up your boat and go go go! Nothing matches the luxury of a majestic Manatee coat. Nothing.  

CNN: Florida takes manatee off endangered list

Tags: Cute, News
Hey, It's Manatee Season!


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