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Webmaster Hates You, But Will Come To Your House

dvinson
10 Comments

Posted June 9, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

From: Ian
Sent: Tuesday, June 06, 2006 7:23 AM
To: webmaster
Subject: RE: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

What is Kristion Holts e-mail address ive got a game that is giving me trouble and i need her help


 
Dear Ian,

I see from your email that you wish to schedule an appointment with our host Kristion Holts (it’s actually spelled Cristuion Holtttz, but I’ll forgive you this time). Unfortunately, Kristin is unavailable right now. She is busy traveling around the globe carrying out secret missions for the videogame government. It’s all very exciting and we miss her dearly, but the work she is doing is so vital to our operations here and our attempt to bring you the latest in cheat code technology.

I really shouldn’t be going into detail about these things, but Kristin is our number one cheat code operative and works hard to scour the Earth to help you, YOU IAN, conquer your favorite videogames. The show is really just a cover for our massive international cheat code recovery operation, of which Kristin the head. I can’t imagine where we’d all be without her; it sends a shiver up my spine.

But in other news, I, the Webmaster, am available to come to your house and help you with your cheat code problem and then possibly steal all of your most valuable possessions!

That last part is a formality! So all you have to do is send me your home phone number, address, and garage door security code. This is standard procedure, I assure you, and I will be on the way to help you out! Seriously!

Thanks for writing, Ian! You've totally made my day!

The Webmaster

P.S. Do you own an Xbox 360? or perhaps a cheese grater? I need one of those. I mean, I will need one when I come to help you with your problem!

Webmaster Hates You, But Will Come To Your House
http://www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/604151/webmaster-hates-you-but-will-come-to-your-house/
BlogThread_604151

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