In these tumultuous times, it's good to have something to smile at. Today we're smiling at a monkey attack.
Thirty angry apes escaped from a wildlife sanctuary in Sierra Leone, tore apart a taxi driver with their claws and teeth, then injured three American construction workers building a new embassy.
Why must things like this happen so far away, and so rarely?
The sanctuary's director, Bala Amarasekaran, had this to say: "Chimps mob people. If you try and defend yourself you can get hurt." He advised any humans attacked by chimpanzees to "be submissive, lie on the ground".
I don't think Bala understands Americans very well. If I see a gang of monkeys wildin' out, I'm hitting back. I'll to go out swinging a golf club and hollering curses at the top of my lungs, so at least they'll write songs and stories about me after I'm torn to shreds by rampaging apes.
Reuters: Police Hunt Killer Chimps