Metal Gear Solid Movie Magic


Posted January 14, 2006 - By Chickytown

So when I heard that Uwe Boll was trying to get people to believe that he might direct the Metal Gear Solid movie, it got me thinking about how some directors would take on the project. And then I wrote up an article all about it, because my therapist says I have to start dealing with my anger issues in a constructive way.

Here's an excerpt:

The Peter Jackson Scenario

At approximately seven hours long (22 hours long on the special edition DVD) this auteuriffic version has it all--romance, action, pathos and more, all played on the most epic of epic scales. 

And, of course, the part of the Metal Gear will be played by a mo-capped Andy Serkis, who also brilliantly brings to life Meryl, Revolver Ocelot and Snake's mullet.

There's more, including the aforementioned Uwe Boll--just a click away. Umm, I kinda cuss a bit in it, and there might be mature themes or something, I forget. So this one's for the 18+ crowd only.

Snake a Wish: Solid Takes on a Metal Gear Movie

Black Cherry Vanilla Coke


Posted January 12, 2006 - By Chickytown

I've had a lifelong love affair with Coca-Cola. I also love black cherry soda--Dr. Brown's is a great one, as is Boylan's.

So the idea of Black Cherry Vanilla Coke seemed pretty all right. But then I started thinking--the gag-inducing taste of Vanilla Coke and the general ookieness of Coca-Cola with Lime have taught me that The Coca-Cola company isn't always so good with the flavormaking decisions. Then again, Cherry Coke is yummy.

I decided I had to face my soda pop demons and just get some to see. Of course, when I found it I could only find the 12-pack. But I knew I could just drop off any leftovers in the lunchroom--these people will devour anything left for them, 'specially if it's loaded with sugar.

As I sat outside my refrigerator for 12 hours waiting for the precious cargo in the convenient fridge pack to chill, I thought about what the perfect Black Cherry Vanilla Coke would taste like. It wouldn't be too sweet. It would have the rich, full cherry flavor of a black cherry beverage, but with the bite of traditional Coke. And, of course, just the slightest teeny tiniest hint of real vanilla flavor, and not that puke-inducing stuff they use to "flavor" Vanilla Coke, which I hear they also use to give cheap vanilla perfumes and candles their icky "dude, that's not vanilla" scent.

Finally, it was time. I cautiously popped the Black Cherry Vanilla Coke open. As the can neared my lips, I caught a whiff of--oh no--pretty strong cream soda-y vanilla. Oh geez. But it was too late. I took a swig and...aw dammit. You know the description above, of the perfect Black Cherry Vanilla Coke? Reverse the polarity and that's pretty much it. Overwhelmingly vanilla, though thankfully not like Vanilla Coke, but just exactly like cream soda. And the black cherry, well...okay I couldn't really taste the black cherry so well, but I did taste "red". Okay so red cream soda. Aaaaaand...scene. Where the hell's the Coke? I don't taste any Coke at ALL. And brother, it's sweet.

So. If ya like sweet-ass red cream soda with maybe a bit of extra chemically taste in there, have I got a drink for you. I tell you what, though, just get some Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, which I think is loads better than Black Cherry Vanilla Coke, and I don't even like Dr. Pepper. Or, if you liked the abomination that is Vanilla Coke, you might actually like this one. But I pity you and your obviously messed up taste buds.

Sigh. I dunno. I had high hopes. Probably unreasonably high for a soft drink purchase. Coca-Cola company, you have failed me.

Thanks to Bevnet.com for their reviews, without which I would've had to work a lot harder to link out to products. Check the site out when you thirst for beverage news. Yeah I know.

Tags: Products

DC Comics Postage Stamps!


Posted December 1, 2005 - By Chickytown

I never understood stamp collecting--until now.

A dude from Newsarama's message boards sez there will be DC Comics Postage Stamps next year, and Marvel ones in 2007!

That's pretty sweet.

To be honest, I still don't understand stamp collecting, but I will buy a ton of these and use the crap out of them. Okay I might keep some of them around and incorporate them into my decorating scheme. I mean, I already have some framed Wonder Woman, Supergirl and Batgirl puffy stickers on my dresser at home...shut up they look cool.

Tags: Comics

Holiday Hit List!


Posted November 22, 2005 - By Chickytown

Holiday Hit List!

Tell us what you think of the featured games and gear!



Tags: G4, Videogames

Smash my Xbox 360


Posted November 22, 2005 - By Chickytown

This dude raised money, waited in line for hours, then bought an Xbox 360 just to smash it to bits in front of the Xbox fanboys.

That musta been some sight.

Apparently the guy behind it has also done the same with an iPod. He calls it a social experiment.


Tags: Videogames

Diane Mizota on Maxim Online!


Posted November 22, 2005 - By Chickytown

Our very own Diane Mizota is not only "Today's Girl" at Maximonline.com (Nov. 22 only, it'll be some other lady tomorrow), they also have an interview with her!

We're so proud of you, Diane!

Tags: Cute, G4

Spoiled PSP


Posted November 21, 2005 - By Chickytown

PSP--makes a lovely Christmas gift, right? Right.

Unless the recipient is 6 YEARS OLD.

Yes, that's right. My nephew is so f'in spoiled by my Dad and Stepmother that they actually bought him a PSP for Christmas. (My God, does being a grandparent melt people's brains or what? Not to mention these are the same people who wouldn't buy me an NES and I was a teenager when I asked for one--a teenager with good grades, excellent manners and no cavities. Come on people this is lunacy! Tho I admit it would be really funny if it weren't ripped from the headlines of my obviously superunfair life.)

Now today I get an email--they want to know what they'll need to buy him to make it fun, and if I know anything about the PSP. So I tell 'em that it's not a kid's toy with few kid-friendly games and basically they're buying him a glorified mini movie machine for all the use he'll get out of it--until he breaks it 20 minutes after unwrapping it, that is. The kid has put scratches on the inside of his Nintendo DS. How? Beats the hell outta me. I mean, in the course of a day, he drops his DS (and his GBAs--no that's not a typo, he has more than one GBA) about a million times, so it's not like the scratches are a surprise, I just think it takes a special kind of skill to screw up the inside of a DS, is all. And the grime! His handhelds are all greazy and sticky and eeewww.

Makes you worry for the PSP's safety and well-being, doesn't it?

Anyway, I told them to take it back and get him a portable DVD player, since that's pretty much all he can realistically use it for, and that way he can watch movies they already own.

...I kinda still can't believe it, tho. But I'll tell you what, I'm fasttracking giving these crazy S.O.B.'s more grandkids. I can see it now: "Um yeah your new grandbaby wants a PS3 and a Revolution for Christmas. No, I'm pretty sure. Dude, the Revolution controller's just like a rattle. Yeah there are like a ton of baby games for it. Me? Oh, with parents like you and a new bundle of joy, I don't need anything but love for Christmas."

Tags: Videogames



Posted October 27, 2005 - By Chickytown

Yoda breaking it down.

My nephew wants to be Yoda for Halloween and I was against it until I saw this video.

Okay I'm still against it but this video is amusing.

Tags: Videos



Posted October 26, 2005 - By Chickytown

Halloween is almost here. Our treat for you is a Halloween minisite with articles (check out the X-Play Zombie article), video, and a schedule of G4's Halloween programming.

We're even working on what may be quite possibly the world's dumbest Podcast--a candy tasting tour de force sure to make you regret that Podcasting was ever invented.

We've started a photo gallery, but we need y'all to help. Submit photos of your best costumes, your greatest pumpkin carving achievements and really anything Halloweeny that you've made, worn or eaten or uh whatever and we'll put as many as we can up for the whole world to marvel at.


Tags: G4, Projects

Taiko: Drum Master HATS!! Pa-rum-pum-pum-pimp!

If you hurry, I mean if you drop everything right now and go to National Console Support to order one of these babies...okay I don't actually know if you will get it by Halloween but honestly, this is the type of item that you can integrate fully into your everyday wardrobe, no problem.

Imagine the respect and admiration you'll get waiting for the bus. Think of all the phone numbers thrust into your pockets from eager singles hoping to bang the drum slowly. Your mom will love you again. Baby birds will land on your outstreched finger as you sing a merry tune. Those restraining orders? Like they never happened.

Colossal Babypants


Posted October 24, 2005 - By Chickytown

Generally speaking, I am a "kill 'em all" type of gamer. That's one of the awesome things about gaming, right, the escapism, the mindless violence? Maybe it's bad to come out and say it, but killing things in games is totally fun.

And then I'm watching my boyfriend play Shadow of the Colossus. And I'm getting mad at him for killing the Colossi. And I'm rooting for each Colossus to kill the stupid tiara-wearing boy instead, but it never works out that way.

I know that's the point of the game, killing each Colossus, but it's really sad. They're so beautiful, the Colossi, and they aren't hurting anyone, they're just living their lives in this vast, empty fairyland. Some of them don't even attack you too much even after you've attacked them. It just feels wrong to take them down for some dead whore named Wanda. She ain't all that. Let her stay dead, find another lady, that's what I say.

It's probably Team ICO's fault for creating such magnificent creatures. The Colossi are majestic and lovely, and you can't help but admire them. And then that jerkface boy goes and invades their land and kills them and it's just wrong. No lame-ass chick's life is worth 16 Colossi's lives.

My boyfriend is only half done with the game. I'm hoping the "hero" of the story learns that there's a great price for killing those fantastic creatures...or that maybe he or Wanda becomes deeply corrupted for messing with old magic and death. You know, maybe Wanda comes back all Pet Semetary'd or whatever. Then I'd feel better about the whole thing.

Tags: Videogames

You have to give serious props to the people  who create viruses, trojans, worms and whatever and then use social engineering to get people to infect themselves.

Seems a very clever hacker has gotten some Nintendo DS owners to install a program that deletes the system's firmware by making them think they're actually installing a hentai viewing program.

I have questions for the very funny person who wrote the bad code, disguised it as a smut viewer and got people to welcome it on to the same machine they use to play Nintendogs. Do you hate Nintendo DS owners or just the ones who want to view hentai on two screens? Or is this an anti-hentai statement? I get the feeling that sensual tentacles are not your idea of a good handheld time. Can we talk?

Tags: Videogames



Posted October 6, 2005 - By Chickytown

I was always a big fan of Criss Angel--the musician. Come to find out, this dude also does magic! Like, who knew?

The best part of a Criss Angel "demonstration" is the acting he does. Good gravy, does he sell the tricks. If you watch his A&E show, you'll come to learn, mostly from Criss' brother and mother but also his team that HE COULD DIE from, like, every trick he does. And brother, does he ever make you believe it! The grimaces, the groans, the totally intense look in his eyes...even the man's luxurious mane of tousled black hair screams with its every molecule "I could die doing this but I won't becuz I'm MAGIC, bitches."

Last night as I delighted in Angel's latter-day carny geek antics (The thread out of the eyehole! The ol' quarter under the skin!) I wondered aloud why there aren't really any female magicians with mainstream appeal. Cetainly no lady goth street magicians with tv shows. Okay I don't think I could name a single female magician.

That's weird, right?




Posted October 4, 2005 - By Chickytown

Mmm. Mmm. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. This guy on this online dating site totally just sent me this pic of himself. WOW! What a hottie! I'm drooling all over!

I think he could be THE ONE.

When I opened the picture I was so blown away by his beauty, I kicked my trash can clear across the room!

Too bad he lives in Italy. It's gonna take me a long time to save up for a trip there.

He says he's a big tv star in Europe and I think he's tellin the truth!

The Bedroom PC

bedroom pc

Watch the Video.

Wonder Woman--Killer!


Posted October 4, 2005 - By Chickytown

So my girl Wonder Woman, right? She went and killed Maxwell Lord because he was controlling Superman and you can't have some uppity superhero-hating meta having full control over the most powerful man in the universe, right? Plus, Max said it was the only way to stop him, so what what she supposed to do? Superman was like, kicking her and beating her ass. Wonder Woman's not gonna stand for that crap for long even if it IS ridiculous that Maxwell Lord has apparently done a 180 in terms of characterization and is no longer the lovable jerk we came to know in Justice League International. (Read this review of Countdown to Infinite Crisis, it's really funny.)

This is supposed to be some big old dilemma, 'cause DC superheroes tend not to kill villains. Like everyone's all "Wah Wonder Woman you're a murderer or whatever". But dude, Superman's killed people. Bunch of heroes have. Sometimes, you gotta put down the bad 'uns.

Matter o' fact, shouldn't they pretty much always kill jackasses like the Joker and Lex Luthor and whoever who are responsible for so many deaths, are caught, put away, escape and then go back out and commit even more icky crimes? I mean yeah, it's hard for comics companies to create awesome villains over and over again if your writers keep killing them 'cause it's right, but in a way, if a hero just hands over some homicidal loon like the Joker to the normal cops or in his case, doctors, knowing full well he will escape and he will kill a bunch of people, then isn't the hero sorta to blame for anyone who gets killed or robbed or mutilated when the Joker inevitably breaks out of Arkham? Well, aren't you, Mr. Batman? Where's your righteous indignation NOW, Mr. Batman?

Umm so in conclusion, I love Wonder Woman, I'm sick of Batman's crap (nice going with Brother One, jerkoff) and what the hell does Superman see in Lois?

Tags: Comics
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