Match.com users reveal top strategies for finding romance online.

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By "Patricia"

online dating
  1. Make the first move.
    Don't post your profile right away. Scan the other personal ads first. You'll find plenty of people you want to contact, and you won't be overwhelmed by random email before you get used to the system.

  2. Don't be afraid to change your profile.
    Nothing is written in stone. Change your profile as much as you want, especially if you're getting a lot of undesirable responses.

  3. Be specific.
    Be clear and specific about qualities you want and don't want. Otherwise you may end up swimming in a million annoying email messages.

    If you just say, "I'm cute and looking for a good time," there's no reason for any Joe not to write to you, even if the two of you have nothing in common.

    Guys appreciate forthright honesty. It makes it easier for them to see if the two of you are compatible.

    Here's a sample from my profile:

    "I only date guys who are in good shape, good-looking, over 5 feet 10 inches, outgoing, and active. Please don't write to me if you live outside of SF, are politically or personally conservative, or are into watching sports a lot -- you won't like me....


    "I want to be with someone who knows what they want and knows what it takes to attain it, wants long-term and probably children. Someone who'll take plenty of time to get to know me, who will not be pushy or needy but will be respectful and fun."

  4. Don't misrepresent yourself.
    Don't exaggerate your qualities -- it'll always backfire. Be yourself. You're a great person. Just let your true self shine through.

  5. Follow proper etiquette, and be kind.
    Respond to people who write you a descriptive, thoughtful email. If you're not interested, thank him for his email, tell him you don't think you're compatible, and wish him well.

    If he bugs you, be clear that you do not want to hear from him again.


Editor's note: "Patricia" (not her real name) uses Match.com.

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