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Take a shower, eat, go to work, read, call a friend, eat, use the bathroom, brush your teeth, and sleep. Those are all things I need someone to instruct me to do ever since I installed The Sims on my home computer (and, a few days later, on my work computer).
OK, OK, I'm hooked. Darn that Will Wright and his ingenious game! I can't believe how much sleep I've lost over The Sims. I've created plenty of families, built half a dozen homes, and caused more mischief and mayhem in my community than a virtual tornado. The game is really starting to bring out the best and worst in me. But it's so much fun!
For example, Venus Hunter is a single female living in quite a large home. She followed her parents' dreams and was on her way to become a doctor, but eventually grew disillusioned with that route. So she quit her job (well, she got fired) and began waiting tables in hopes of striking it rich on the silver screen.
Her social life is pretty strong (mostly with the men in the neighborhood). The already married Mortimer Goth has fallen head-over-heels in love with her, and they have begun an illicit affair. Once, he and his wife, Bella, came over for dinner. Moritmer and Venus didn't do a very good job concealing their clandestine affection, and so Bella gave Venus a slap, cried, and stormed out of Venus's house without a word. Now every time Venus tries to call Bella to make amends, Bella has to feed her llama or watch her plants grow. At least she's got Mortimer.
Seriously, I've been playing this game way too much. My Sim addiction has gotten to the point that I actually dreamt I was a Sim. I invited some friends to my house for a party. Unfortunately, my cooking skills weren't up to par. So when I finally got the stove burning, it went up in flames. I tried getting a kid to put out the fire by clicking on her, but it was no good. Kids can't use the fire extinguisher. The kid did call the fire department though. In my panic I yelled for my maid to put it out. But I got even more upset when I spoke in some garbled language. Eventually the fire was put out and there wasn't an urn in the kitchen with my name on it. I think the obvious interpretation of my dream is the need to slow down on my Sim intake. In fact, I had to give the disc to someone else so I could get this column out in time.

I'm sure I'm not the only one addicted to The Sims. If you've got your own Sim addiction story email it to me. If I post it on the site you'll get a Extended Play sticker. Don't forget to include your address and age.

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