Supremacy MMA Review

By Jonathan Deesing - Posted Oct 04, 2011

On the surface, Supremacy MMA feels like it could be a solid notch in the win column for fighting games. Instead, after playing for mere seconds, it's clear the game will do nothing but make fans of fighting games doubt the existence of a deity.

The Pros
  • A few solid laughs at the voice acting
  • It is a video game
  • None of the words are misspelled
The Cons
  • Incredibly unresponsive controls
  • Unforgiving AI makes winning even one fight a challenge
  • Everything else

Supremacy MMA Review:

There is an ongoing discussion among game critics about how long someone should play a game before writing a review. I had this entire review written in my mind after only playing Supremacy MMA for a matter of minutes. But I kept on playing for hours, hoping I was wrong, swallowing more and more of my own blood until I was so sick my body just gave out.

Coming to on your couch with a controller in your hands and a streak of pink that may be blood or brain matter leaking from your ear is never a good place to be. Unfortunately, I suspect anyone who buys or plays Supremacy MMA will find themselves in a similar debacle. The game has absolutely no redeeming qualities and even when being entirely objective I couldn’t muster much more than an exasperated shoulder shrug for any of its limited and dull features.
 

 

The first rule of Fight Club is bending over

People play video games to win; it’s what makes them fun. But no one wins in Supremacy MMA. After trying and struggling to win even one match, I headed over to the tutorial and spent what I thought was a solid 20 minutes learning all of the moves. Then I perused the menu to memorize some sweet combos. I returned to the ring to receive an ass-kicking even worse than before.

Believing I was just grossly incompetent at the game, I invited a parade of gaming friends much more talented than I to try to just win one fight. Most of them called it quits after losing their fifth or sixth fight.

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The game is too sluggish for a fighting game. In a game where blocking and parrying blows is vital, the half-second delay from button to action is a lifetime. And if you’re busy getting pummeled, you can put down the controller and make a sandwich because you aren’t going anywhere until Prison Johnny has had his way with you. Or whatever the hell his name is. One of the more amusing parts of the game is an attempt in story mode to get you to empathize with one-dimensional soulless characters. It’s like if Uwe Boll directed The Notebook.

There is no rhyme or reason to the fighting styles. Although the game boasts a number of varied styles from Jiu Jistsu to Muay Thai, none of these are really noticeable when you’re getting your face kicked in my a surprisingly violent computer. The only time I found any success was not in combos, but simply tackling my opponent and smashing his face into mush or kneeing him in the ribs.

Supremacy MMA

Everything else that sucks

I wish the train wreck stopped with bad fighting mechanics, but it goes on. The emotional dumpster-diving of the story is exacerbated by voice acting that sounds like it was done by the programmers’ families. The story mode is short and uninspired. The online matches are a little sad, with two gamers that can’t control their fighters at all struggling in something oddly reminiscent of the cripple fight from South Park.

The inclusion of female fighters (referred to as “femme fatales”) seems masturbatory and unnecessary. I can probably count on one hand how many female gamers will buy this game, and any dudes that get off on breaking chicks’ legs probably shouldn’t be allowed to have a 360 in their cell.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention what has been billed as one of the game’s coolest features: the violence. You can break arms, legs, stomp two-footed on downed fighters’ heads . . .you know, all the usual stuff. Coming from someone who uses the chainsaw in Gears of War like it’s going out of style, the violence in Supremacy MMA is still god-awful disgusting and gratuitous.

Supremacy MMA

The last rule of Fight Club is don’t talk about this game

Do yourself a favor. Do not buy this game. Don’t play it, even if it’s free.

Not a huge fan of fighting games, I can actually find pleasure in quite a few of them (can I hear a waddup for Ready 2 Rumble on Sega Dreamcast?). Though I’m not the best, I can definitely tear out a few spines in Mortal Kombat. But nowhere during my entire playthrough of Supremacy MMA did I find an ounce of pleasure or enjoyment.

In one of the most iconic scenes in Fight Club, Tyler Durden asks the narrator what he wishes he would have done before he died. The narrator struggles with his answer. Me? I wish I would have never played Supremacy MMA.

Still want to play it? Why not rent it at Gamefly?