Pimp My Ride Review - PS2

For reasons unknown -- maybe because they're struggling to get the Date My Mom game below an Adults Only rating from the ESRB -- Activision is running us over with a video game adaptation of MTV's hit show, Pimp My Ride. You join Xzibit in his noble pursuit of turning ugly jalopies of ill repute into spicy jalapenos of style and speed -- on Xbox 360, no less.

Ridin' Dirty

Pimp City is populated by the haves and have-nots. There are those with bangin' vehicles, and those who apparently fished their cars out of a Chernobyl pond. Enter Xzibit and you, with the charge of magically turning deathtraps into babe magnets. We say magically because, in Pimp City, real laws don't apply.

You need money to do your pimping charity work. Income is gained several ways: Collect massive coins scattered around the city; smash into pedestrian traffic to inexplicably earn bank, or partake in a few events. All of Pimp My Ride's events (i.e. all three) entail following onscreen button commands. Some deal with timing, while others go for speed of pressing. For a game that tries to appeal to casual gamers, requiring that they memorize the Xbox 360 controller's face buttons is a little silly -- but not as silly as watching your character duck-walk next to his cruise-control-engaged hooptie as he "ghost-rides the whip."

Limited Creativity

Once the budget is reached, it's time to pilot the prospective pimp-craft around town. Visit shops that specialize in paint, rims, or accessories like in-car video game systems and modeling catwalks while racing against the clock and your rival. "Rival?" you ask. Yes, through more Pimp City magic, each car is cloned -- so an unseen competitor is simultaneously tweaking the same vehicle.

After the allotted time, Xzibit describes your creation, and the contestant picks the winner. This would provide some nice challenge, if it wasn't ridiculously easy to out-style your foe. Each mechanic gives you a limited number of choices. Theoretically, you should weigh the customer's hobbies into your decision -- Alix likes rodeos, Hari cooks for his friends on the beach, etc. However, just pick the most expensive thing, and you're basically guaranteed the win. No need to worry about finances, because bargaining minigames -- even easier than the events -- let you get the goods for a fraction of the price.

After that, it's lather, rinse, repeat -- over and over again. The actual reveal segments are Pimp My Ride's best aspects, even if the number of choices leaves a lot to be desired. X is good in describing the features, while contestants go bananas over their upgraded lifestyle. Thanks to more Pimp City magic, you end up procuring each pimped vehicle to use later in the game.

Greasy Pimp

With the actual competition/creativity aspect underachieving, you'd hope the gameplay itself would compensate. Not so -- the driving is so bad, the game should be renamed Pimp My Zamboni, as it feels like your vehicle is on ice. Evidently, so much work went into the aesthetics of the cars, nobody thought to make them control worth a damn.

Further into the game, it takes more and more time to build up the predetermined dollar amount to proceed. This leaves you driving a sloppy piece of junk around a world with very little to do. Crashes and events get old extremely quickly -- as does looking for signs and parking meters to knock over. The environments themselves do look good, but feeling is akin to Saints Row sans any actual action.

Ballin' On A Budget

Pimp My Ride has that budget-game smell, with its lack of any Xbox Live support and flimsy content. Even the music is generic, and it's affiliated with MTV! They used to be known for music or something, right? Xzibit lays down some rhymes, but it sounds as though he just smoked away the money he got for his appearance, hit the studio, then passed out. What's even sadder is that the game is not, in fact, budget priced. Dropping $50 for Pimp My Ride is like reserving a limo and getting picked up by a city bus. Only gamers looking for the most easily-beaten endeavors (i.e. achievement whores) need test-drive this debacle.

Article by: Justin Leeper
Video produced by: Michael Leffler