Madden NFL 2005 Review - PC

The inimitable John Madden, who has seen more launches than NASA, more platforms than an Olympic high diver, and more praise than a puppy fetching a stick, makes his auspicious debut on Nintendo DS in a game of firsts. It is the first 3D football game on a handheld, the first to support two screens, and the first to incorporate touch-screen technology. It is also the first Madden in a great while to sail wide of the uprights.

Breaking the Tradition

Madden hasn’t had as stellar a reputation throughout the years on handhelds as he has enjoyed on consoles, but the Nintendo DS should have enough horsepower to deliver something decent. Unfortunately, the graphics, sound, features, and most importantly, the gameplay are all several notches below what we expect from a franchise that has been around for 15 years. UK-based developer Exient, which specializes in sports games on cellular phones, either didn’t have enough time or was simply overwhelmed in delivering Madden NFL 2005 to Nintendo’s double-screened dynamo.

Strange Sights

Visuals resemble early Madden NFL games on N64 but in a much rougher state. Player models are especially gruesome: if Sasquatch and a buffalo mated, the resulting offspring would be the spitting image of these athletes. Everyone looks like a blocky hulk with arms so long that knuckles nearly drag along the gridiron, and the animation is simple at best, twitchy at worst. The zoomed-in scenes are laughable in just how ugly they are -- players walk through referees and their celebrations make Elaine’s dance from Seinfeld look like a scene from the Nutcracker. Players spin around in place with their arms flapping up and down like they were in the throes of an epileptic seizure.

Stranger Sounds

Sound is not much better, though there is a competent sample of Earshot’s “Wait” that plays during the menu screen. Yet the in-game sound effects are a painful listen, with Al Michaels and John Madden eerily silent during games aside from a few repetitive phrases. Tackling sounds like someone eagerly popping a sheet of bubble wrap, and for some bizarre reason, there’s a lone voice that keeps yelling “mayday” or “medic.” Perhaps this gentle soul is trying to warn you of the consequences of playing this game.

Dual-Screen Debacle?

As in the majority of DS launch titles, the action is viewed in the top screen. The lower screen is used to call plays, view the kick meter, or to use VCR-style controls on instant replay, which is silly to have in a game where the graphics aren’t sophisticated enough to show anything meaningful. The stylus is not needed, with the digital pad completely adequate for highlighting plays. Once a formation and play is selected, the bottom screen switches to an overhead view of the field with players represented by Xs and Os. Though this is arguably designed to make passing easier, since you’ll be able to see when a receiver separates from a defensive back, the Xs and Os are so large that they overlap one another, diminishing the view’s effectiveness. Regardless, there’s little time to read the lower screen because the action above moves at a brisk pace.

It’s Electric

The game’s combination of raw speed and jittery animation has Madden NFL 2005 feeling like a tabletop electric football game rather than the real sport -- all that’s missing is the buzzing sound. The overall speed, which cannot be adjusted, is so fast that it favors the offensive part of the game. Running is extremely easy, and huge gains are possible due to the computer’s inability to tackle diagonally. On the default setting, you never have to throw a pass to win consistently. In fact, just two plays -- a half-back pitch or draw -- can be used non-stop the entire game. Bumping up the difficulty makes the computer react faster, but it still has trouble making diagonal tackles or in reacting to the same high-success plays.

Glitches Galore

Madden NFL 2005 has a litany of problems. You’ll see defenders run out of bounds and then back onto the playfield with no penalty, or the computer call a fake punt pass in the first quarter when trailing by seven. Though you can trade and sign free agents, none of the moves are saved when the power is turned off, and player management always defaults to the Bears for some reason instead of your selected team. There’s no fantasy draft or franchise mode, just a single season, and while the Madden cards are here, they are without images. The two-minute drill is fun, especially against friends, but the rest of the modes appear to have been thrown together at the last minute. One positive is that your gaudy statistics can be saved to battery backup, but so much more could (and should) have been done.

Punt it Away

While Madden NFL 2005 is playable in its current form, most will tire of the shaky visuals and slippery controls faster than Mr. Madden slaps ham on a hoagie.

Each week Al Michaels and John Madden nominate Monday Night Football’s player of the game for display on the side of their horse trailer. The console versions of Madden NFL 2005 are worthy candidates, but this Nintendo DS game is the lone title that belongs in the trailer instead of on it.