James Bond 007 Review

By Justin Speer - Posted Mar 03, 2004

We find out if size matters when 007 tries to save the world on a GameBoy.

The Pros
The Cons

Does size matter, Mr. Bond? In this smashing episode of "X-Play," we put "007 Everything or Nothing" through its suave super spy paces. It certainly has the look and feel of a Bond film, albeit a very tiny one, but does the gameplay live up to the famous name?

Dr. No, this isn't based on an existing movie

"Everything or Nothing" has an original story in the Bond tradition of intrigue, girls, gadgets, gunplay, and machinegun-equipped automobiles. Here's the appropriately believable (though not very original) premise. Russian super villain Diavolo plans on taking over the world with nanomachines. That's reason enough to send Pierce Brosnan continent-hopping while liberally employing his license to kill. And of course, there are beautiful women involved.

Along with Brosnan's mug, M and Q add to the game's authentic feel with their actual faces and voices. And isn't that Willem Dafoe? You're probably not going to feel as though you're playing a movie, given the Game Boy Advance's limited production values. But you will feel just a little more Bond-like with Q admonishing you for punching helpless scientists in the kidneys. "Honestly, 007!"

Put those licenses to use

After a frantic opening mission where you make a desperate vertical escape from a collapsing building using a rappel line, you'll select the next mission from a world map and keep completing objectives until that jolly little world is saved. You'll have primary and secondary objectives, which you complete to earn style points. You use the style points to buy nifty Q-Lab gadgets. Only Bond could associate a pearl gun handle with having a better shot or custom-made penny loafers with running faster.

The majority of missions have you pounding the pavement in those same penny loafers. You're given a good view of the action, and radar that helps you catch foes off-guard. Sneaking lets you take out grunts quietly with a literal twist, and nets you a few style points, as well. Automatic weapons, grenades, and Q inventions like the distracting holo-Bond help see you through. There's even a vodka martini in it for you as well. Shaken, not stirred, of course.

You'll also take to the road a few times for a bit of car-to-car combat. Or car-to-tank combat, depending on the situation. You'll have machine guns, missiles, and oil slicks at your disposal to cut through interference and send the target vehicle up in flames. Without much road to work with and completely random progression, you'll probably go up in flames a few times before you catch your quarry. At least they're short.

Something or nothing

The game's got cheesy puns and innuendo that only 007 is capable of pulling off. You'll use strange gadgets to stylishly thwart the plans of a madman. Amazingly, there's even a theme song with full vocals. "Everything or Nothing" definitely scores a high Bond quotient, and it's a decent game in its own right. It's short and has a few problems with its driving sections, but it does throw in multiplayer options and a simple blackjack game for good measure. This game won't last forever, but Bond fans should find it to be a pleasant portable diversion.

"James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing" (GBA)