Chris Gore, indie-film-genius, Film Threat Webmaster, coauthor of  The Complete DVD Book and Attack of the Show's resident DVD critic, presents a primer for holiday giving.

So I hear you're good at giving presents.
I am the best person at giving gifts ever. I am an absolute expert. I've given the greatest gifts ever.

What's your secret?
First off, I do all my shopping online, because I can’t stand going to stores and dealing with people. My problem isn’t with the people themselves, it’s the way they walk. The people who stop right in front of you. I have the walking version of road rage.

If you need to buy gifts for a lot of people, go to bids.com. It’s like ebay for wholesalers. Someone will be like, "I have 500 pool cues with naked ladies on them. I got them from Taiwan for 50 cents each." They’re selling them on websites for ten bucks. I’ll buy like ten of them with no idea how to use them, then, it’s my friend’s birthday or something and boom there it is.

Also, I have a box in my attic that’s full of random gifts for whoever, just full of swag. I don’t care about Mulan, so I’ll just throw that stuff in my box, and that ends up being the gift box at the end of the year.

What was the single best gift you ever gave?
A buddy of mine worked on The Simpsons, and I took like 35 photos of close friends and relatives and I traded him a computer I don't use so he would draw cariactures of my friends as if they lived in Springfield. I mounted and wrapped them, and it didn't cost me a thing. I don't think I'll be able to top that. My friends still talk about it. You can't top that gift.

The average person can't give a gift like that though...
Why not? My friend's no longer at The Simpsons, but he still does this as a side-thing. He calls it "Simpsonizing." People can email him.

What are some good gift DVDs this year?
I always like the discs that have unique packaging, like the new Seinfeld season five disc. It comes with a puffy shirt. And I just picked up the three-disc Fantastic Four DVD. It comes with a CD-Rom that has the first like 20 some odd issues of the Fantastic Four comic book reprinted. So I always look for deals. Certain retailers will offer extras you can only get at their place. For example, Target has a two-disc edition of the Fantastic Four. Best Buy has an exculsive three-disc edition. For Office Space, Best Buy did an edition that came with a bunch of promo items from the movie. What’s cool about it is you’re not just getting a movie, you’re getting collectibles for a film that you really love. For the most part the pricing is about the same, but if you can go to Target and get the same DVD for 20 bucks, plus a comic book or a poster or something, look for those kind of deals.

How do you feel about regifting?
I don’t see anything wrong with it, personally. I don’t need two copies of King Kong for Xbox, but if I get two of them, I’ll give one out.

A lot of guys have trouble picking gifts for their girlfriends...any tips?
Gift certificates. If you give a gift certificate, not only are you giving the present itself, you’re giving the gift of shopping, and women love shopping.

…And that way you don’t have to do it!
Right! I don’t have to shop. I don’t know what kind of cream…chicks are into a million kinds of cream things they rub into their faces and other parts of their bodies. I can’t keep up. It’s a whole science I don’t know, so I just give a gift certificate. Problem solved. One year I gave a woman a map of Pasadena, with gift certificates for all the different stores with a map, like “Shop here” “have lunch here.” Perfect gift.

Any other advice for dudes?
This is a good one: I buy the special lady in my life a piece of jewelry, and I make sure the jeweler will give me a price tag that’s at least ten times what I paid. Then I accidently leave it on and act embarrassed. It’s amazing. When you’re giving the girl in your life a thousand-dollar necklace that only cost you a hundred bucks. I do it every year, and it’s the greatest moment. The benefits that pays cannot be measured.

Isn’t that lying?
It’s not a lie. It’s an accident.... Just make sure no women read this, okay?