Don't you wish all of life's problems could be taken care of with a few well placed scribblings?

Things may not be so simple in the boring world I like to call “reality” but Okami takes place in an ancient world of fables where they can be, and today I am going to take you on a whirlwind tour through the artistic weaknesses of some of  Okami’s big boss battles.

First up is her Excellency the spider queen.

Avoid her hair extensions of doom and tricky foot stomping technique until she develops an unfortunate goiter. Lucky for us, this lady doesn’t know about the importance of iodine in a balanced spider diet.

 Use the power slash to burst her bubble and then use vine to attach flowers to the hooks on her abdomen.
When her inner eyeballs are exposed, you can either hit them directly or use slash to attack many at once.

Lather, rinse, and repeat until the queen is finally deposed!  

Next we have the many headed Orochi.

While he may look fierce, it’s stunningly easy to take advantage of his true weakness: he’s the cheapest date this side of Hokkaido.

Avoid his attacks and slash at his heads to make him angry. When he pulls the ever-effective “scream of impotence” technique, use water spout to forcefeed him some delicious sake.

It may take a while to get his heads nice and sauced, but when three are downed in a drunken stupor you can finally take advantage of the ugliest date on the planet: wail on the bell 12 until the drunkard wakes up.

Unfortunately, Orochi abides by the golden rule of the adventure game boss battle: always repeat. So while his second form is susceptible to your advances, you’re still going to have to get him sloshed again. This time finish off each head as it goes down. Around the eighth Susano will swoop in to take the credit for all your hard work.

Our final boss, crafty mister nintetails has a talent for painting, himself. Avoid his attacks until he raises his sword in the air.

Play Ben Franklin and attach one of the lightning bolts to his metaphorical key. Oldest trick in the book.

 This will activate his second phase of attack: the diabolical anthropomorphized paintbrush people. Slow time and slash at them until they perish.

But beware ninetail’s dueling red paintbrush that can bring the pain if you wait too long to finish your artistic masterpiece.

After a few more similar rounds you’ll notice that Mr. Fox is down a tail or two. Continue as before until you’ve defeated his last extra tail- he’s a geriatric and you won’t have much trouble finishing him off.

 Now it’s just you and Onetail, who should be easy to beat down the with some good old fashioned melee moves.

See- it can be as simple as indulging your finger painting fantasies to make horrible monsters into beautiful flower arrangements!

Now if only I could improve my mode of transportation as easily.