"I was just minding my own business, doing my thing up in some tree when you idiots had to come grab me.
For the last f**king time, I am NOT a cuddly insurance spokesman who talks with a cute little accent. I'm the kind of gecko who fights other geckos to the death in Gecko Fight Club and I've got the scars to prove it.
So, either squash me or eat me! I'm not gonna participate in this stupidity any longer!"