"Uh, excuse me. Do I come barging into the bathroom when you're busy doing your business? No!
Do you know why? Because I'm a civilized mammal who's considerate of his housemates.
...And shut the damn door! You may have been raised in a barn, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna be cool with an open door dump rule. I'm your pet, not some long-term relationship that you're desperate to land."