"Oh, come on! That's not even a tofu squirrel!
And eating your lunch out on the grass like that? Hello? 1999 just sent you a text from its Nokia Brick phone saying that Ginger Spice's solo career looks promising and also that it wants its trend back.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hang out at Starbucks and listen to my ultra-ironic cassette walkman onto which I've dubbed my iTunes playlists."