Every yin needs its yang to keep the universe in balance. As we have just reverentially celebrated the 10th Anniversary of 9/11, a somber, soul-searching occasion, it occurs to me that the world needs a super happy celebration of all the awesome things on Earth day to make up the difference. A sort of relentlessly positive occasion during which we revel in being alive and take stock of all of the things in life that cause us joy.
I call it 11/9, which is super convenient, because that happens to be today!
So, I took a quick straw poll around the G4 Interactive offices to see what people were going to celebrate on 11/9, the day of awesome, and this is what I came up with. Also, one of my favorite things is making up nicknames and job titles for people, so I'm going to be doing that here.
James "The 1%" Elkin - Master of X-Play Online - I like ice cream and apple pie, and air conditioning just ‘cause. I like photos of puppies in marine helmets, and cats driving tanks. I like Rocky and Rambo, and the parts of Team America that don’t seem French. I like Bourbon and branch, and shotgun serenades. I like this Marlboro I’m lighting. I like this photo:
Moye "I Like Donuts and Budgies" Ishimoto - Director, Pastries and Small Birds - I like donuts and budgies.
Patrick "My Name and My Mustache Are French" Roche-Sowa - Pot-Stirrer and Gadfly - Old Fashioneds, peanut butter pretzels, anything that plugs into a television, frozen Charleston Chews, Mythbusters marathons. bbq potato chips, naps, the reptilian brain, and home delivery.
Stephen "Old" Johnson - The Idea Man - Wasting time. I’m super old, and as you age, your responsibilities grow and your free time shrinks. I can vaguely remember the concept of “boredom,” but I haven’t experienced it in over 82 years. I love any time that is not “spoken for” by some responsibility. In other words, I like just farting around.
Frank "Streetwalkin' Justice Khan" Meyer - Punk In Residence - Tacos are awesome! I love ‘em hard shell or soft, beef or chicken, Mexican or American. I love ‘em so much I even love ‘em from Taco Bell! But not from Del Taco. They can go straight to hell! Yes, America, tacos are awesome!
Eugene "The Blender" Morton - The 3rd Klown -
- Freedom - Even though I'm wanted by the FBI for being a juggalo, I haven't been arrested yet and that's pretty sweet!
- Cold Pillows in the Morning - You know how when you wake up in the morning, all snug under the covers, and you flip your pillow over to the cold side, while every other part of your body is warmed by a whole mess of blankets? That's awesome!
- Civil Liberties - It's great having civil liberties, because you can vocally disagree with your country's leaders, peaceably occupy public property en masse or simply tell your neighbor to go #*&% himself. It's your world (within reason), baby! Do what you want!
- Sexual Organs - Do I gotta explain this one?
Nikole "The Truth" Zivalich - Distributor, Magic Dust - Freedictionary.com describes the word "awesome" as inspiring awe. Cheese enchiladas come to mind, really greasy, cheesy enchiladas. Also, glitter, it's so small and yet so shiny. How? How does so much shiny get in there? Sweat pants from Rite Aid are awesome because not only are they comfy and unexpected at a pharmacy, they're next to the ice cream. Drugs are awesome. They open your mind, man. Ctrl + Z is awesome. Vikings most def inspire awe and they have sweet hats.
Jacklin "Doogie" Maisyan - The New Kid - Those patterned lines you get all over your body after you’ve been asleep for a while.That “sick” voice people get after a cold.
Jake "The Snake" Gaskill - A Very Dangerous Man -
- Compilations of things that are awesome.
- Twinkie 2 (Just wait. You’ll see.)
- Albert Finney in a bathrobe firing his Tommy Gun to “Danny Boy” in Miller’s Crossing.
- Not adhering to predetermined list amounts
Leah "Four Steps" Jackson - Keeper, Flame - Reddit itself is pretty awesome, but one particular subreddit, /r/EatsSandwiches always makes me say "omg awesome" out loud. It features all sorts of pictures of delicious sandwiches from all over the world and makes me hungry all day long. Om nom nom...Thanksgiving is another thing that’s awesome. You don’t have to buy people s**t, you just go to your family or friend’s house, eat a bunch of delicious food, and watch football like a lazy piece of s**t. Then you have pie. What an awesome holiday.
So, get out there, G4ians, and celebrate all of the awesome things about being on Earth and alive. Perhaps you should go out and (legally, if you're of legal drinking age) tie one on. Get good and blotto so that you black out while you're enjoying your life! Never remember!