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I'm Tired of Star Wars

Posted September 28, 2011 - By Mike D'Alonzo

I'm Tired of Star Wars

I'm tired of Star Wars. There, I've said it. It's hard for me to admit, but I just couldn't hold back any longer. Now, you might think to yourself, "Oh, he probably wasn't a fan anyway." You could not be more wrong.

I was six years old when A New Hope came out, and I saw the movie in the theater many, many times. I waited in line for The Empire Strikes Back when I was 11, and then overnight for Return of the Jedi when I was 13. I celebrated the return of the movies with The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and dutifully saw Revenge of the Sith at midnight on opening weekend. I played the LEGO: Star Wars series, owned Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, laughed along with the rest of the world at the Admiral Ackbar "It's A Trap" meme, own the Christmas Special somewhere on an ancient VHS tape, saw the re-releases in the theater, and even have a Darth Vader mask on my desk here at work.

But now, I've had enough. I just can't do it anymore.

I can't listen to people argue about it anymore, and I can't listen to people talk about Star Wars and George Lucas as if he, himself, personally ruined their lives by tweaking movies that are 35 years old and adding blinking eyes to Ewoks. Who cares? If you don't want to see the blinking Ewoks, don't buy the movies. Don't watch the movies. Remember them the way you want to. Problem solved.

I'm tired of people throwing their hands up to the sky and weeping, bemoaning their lot in life because Han Solo shot first, or because Darth Vader says "Nooooooooo," or because banthas or wampas or R2-D4 don't look the way you remember them. Guess what? Life is disappointing. George Lucas doesn't owe you anything. You know why you're mad? Because, in spite of yourself, you keep buying these things over and over again, because each one is the "definitive" edition, and then you're disappointed because it's not definitive enough for you.

You know what's definitive? Death. That's about it. Other than that, the rest of it is up for interpretation. If you think, for a moment, that the goal of continuing the world of Star Wars is about anything but money, you're a fool. If you don't mind, then more power to you. Buy it all. Own it all. Consume it all. Just, please stop arguing and complaining about it as if it were yours and yours alone and as if someone you've never met owes you something just because it's important to you.

Now, I'm not defending George Lucas or his actions. To be honest, I don't care one way or the other. I just can't sit through another conversation in which grown people get all bent out of shape about minutiae in this way. It's like living through the final season of LOST over and over again every year for the rest of time. I've had enough.

Let's not get into the idea that there are actual injustices in the world that you probably should be righteously indignant about, or that, in the long run and in the world view, Star Wars is really just entertainment, and no one should invest that much of themselves in something that's a diversion. There are other movies. Enjoy them instead.

As for me, I'm happy with the Star Wars experience I've had in my life, but I'm tired of it. I need a little time off.*

Besides, Star Trek is better.


*except for The Old Republic, because I'm totally playing that s**t.

Tags: Movies

Comments are Closed

  • Zankio

    Star wars is great. People just need to stop pushing the star wars topic so far. I mean, Star Wars is vastly popular and famous, and loads of people love and adore it in their own ways. But it seems they are trying to put it in everything, like sugar.

    Posted: September 28, 2011 10:49 PM
  • swaddles7


    Posted: September 28, 2011 9:37 PM
  • Reciprocity

    @Graphicsgod - guess you didn't get the gist of what the article is about. Your comment, and others like it, are what people are getting tired of. Don't like it? As the author said "don't buy it". But for gods sake, quit whining about it.

    Posted: September 28, 2011 7:35 PM
  • Graphicsgod

    I'm just tired of Lucas f'ing up the movies!! And now with the "Bluray" box set he wants to do more damage :(..

    Posted: September 28, 2011 7:01 PM
  • Graphicsgod

    I'm just tired of Lucas f'ing up the movies!! And now with the "Bluray" box set he wants to do more damage :(..

    Posted: September 28, 2011 7:00 PM
  • edisinsane

    i dig the EU books, but that's about it

    Posted: September 28, 2011 6:56 PM