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Aperture's Tempting Offer

Posted September 20, 2011 - By Joseph Baxter

So, I get to test experimental, classified technology and when it's all over I get free cake?!

Unless, by some microscopic chance, that cake is a lie, I'd be crazy to not do this!

Aperture's Tempting Offer


Comments are Closed

  • Cryptomaster420

    ~This was a triumph.
    I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
    It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
    Aperture Science
    We do what we must
    because we can.
    For the good of all of us.
    Except the ones who are dead.
    But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
    You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
    And the Science gets done.
    And you make a neat gun.
    For the people who are still alive.
    I'm not even angry.
    I'm being so sincere right now.
    Even though you broke my heart.
    And killed me.
    And tore me to pieces.
    And threw every piece into a fire.
    As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
    Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
    And we're out of beta.
    We're releasing on time.
    So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
    Think of all the things we learned
    for the people who are still alive.
    Go ahead and leave me.
    I think I prefer to stay inside.
    Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
    Maybe Black Mesa
    Anyway, this cake is great.
    It's so delicious and moist.
    Look at me still talking
    when there's Science to do.
    When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
    I've experiments to run.
    There is research to be done.
    On the people who are still alive.
    And believe me I am still alive.
    I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
    I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
    While you're dying I'll be still alive.
    And when you're dead I will be still alive.

    Posted: September 21, 2011 12:56 AM
  • n0h1special

    I called and left a message asking where my cake was lol. i had to!

    Posted: September 20, 2011 10:29 PM
  • Cryptomaster420


    Posted: September 20, 2011 10:12 PM
  • maibuddha

    CAKE OR DEATH?! - Eddie Izzard

    Posted: September 20, 2011 9:14 PM
  • MrTofu

    OMG i actually saw this in my school. i was like "WTF?!" so i took one. mine ended up reaching some random hotel/motel. O_O i wanted the cake...

    Posted: September 20, 2011 9:06 PM
  • PixledPKaykes


    Posted: September 20, 2011 9:05 PM
  • nikolasjb

    the voice on the phone for steam support is the scientist from half-life

    Posted: September 20, 2011 8:31 PM
  • SSGX

    I'm disappointed that no one has written "The Cake is a Lie!" all over that poster.

    Posted: September 20, 2011 6:25 PM
  • cr4zzychris

    "I want to get my CAKE!!!!"

    Posted: September 20, 2011 4:28 PM
  • kizzl3g4

    lolol who took that #!

    Posted: September 20, 2011 4:20 PM
  • gamewin1

    lol i called the number. something about steam support or something. my phone doesnt have very good speakers.

    Posted: September 20, 2011 4:09 PM
  • jasonaspinwall

    if that isn't considered epic i don't know what is. the person who did this should be given keys to every major city in the world...and im over it.

    Posted: September 20, 2011 4:04 PM