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Stan Lee Finally Answers The Ultimate Comic Book Question

Posted March 10, 2011 - By Joseph Baxter

Stan Lee Finally Answers The Ultimate Comic Book Question

Marvel guru Stan Lee may have just answered one of the most pressing and integral questions in the history of comic books, nay the world. Indeed, physicists, philosophers, and mathematicians all over have pondered one baffling quandary, one with which fans of Kevin Smith's magnum Jersey opus Mallrats may be familiar. As Jason Lee's character Brody asked Stan Lee in the film to no substantive response: "The Thing! Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body?" Well, hold on to your seats, true believers, because in a recent interview with Vanity Fair, creator of The Fantastic Four (among many others,) Stan "The Man" finally provides the answer to the most burning metaphysical query ever laid upon the bundle of nerves and synapses we call the human brain. Find out what he had to say just below!

According to Lee:

"I never gave it a thought. I guess common sense would say it was made of orange rock too, but I always thought it was more interesting to think about Reed Richards. As you know, he had the ability to stretch, and sexually, that would seem to be a great asset in many areas."

Stop the presses! It's confirmed! And with that news, the tumult of the world took a step back as the uprisings in the Middle East and Asia suddenly stopped for just a brief moment to ponder the amazing revelation: The Thing's "thing" is indeed made of orange rock. -- And secondly, in all likelihood, Reed Richards (rightly called Mr. Fantastic) does do in the privacy of marital bliss, things with his powers that we all thought he did. (And would probably do, as well if we were as blessed.)

However, it may also interest you that the always fascinating subject of superhero crotches was not limited to The Thing in the Vanity Fair interview. In discussing the issues Lee experienced in the 60's with the censorship practices of the Comics Code, Marvel icon the Incredible Hulk also came into the discussion. When asked if in the absence of the Code, whether the Hulk's pants would have ripped off, much like his shirt typically does, Lee answers:

"I guess it probably would have. So occasionally the Code did some good things."

The question that must now be asked, is a simple one: Where do we go from here? If man's purpose in life was to climb mountains, what does he do when there are no more mountains to climb? Just as well, if man's purpose is to ponder, then what does he do when there's nothing left to ponder? :(

Source: Vanity Fair (via Blastr)

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