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Forget CES, Sagging Pants Invention Will Revolutionize Universe

Posted January 7, 2011 - By Mike D'Alonzo

Forget CES, Sagging Pants Invention Will Revolutionize Universe

Let's face it. As youths of the 21st Century, we like to wear our pants around our ankles. It's just a fact of life. However, unless you're a homeless person or a pop star, it can be unseemly to be walking the streets with your pants on the ground. That's what makes Andrew Lewis, an inventor from Harlem, the odds-on favorite to take the Nobel Peace Prize in 2011, with his invention that allows you to wear the fashionable sag, without looking like an idiot.

The invention, called "Subs," functions a little like suspenders and a garter belt combined, allowing you to show the world your boxers without having to keep pulling them up. "What?" I can year you saying right now, "don't they have a belt for just such a purpose?" Silly, silly reader. Belts keep your pants around your waist. What is this, the 1890's? Get with the times, satchmo. You're no one who's anyone without showing everyone what choice you make in underwear on a daily basis!

So, we might be looking toward the future with this week's CES 2011 coverage, with talk of robots and lasers and all of that useless crap, but this, friends, this invention is the real news of the new decade, and we're going to have to go a long way to top it.

Tags: Comedy

Comments are Closed

  • shane_gt40

    The visual on this is a FAIL.

    Posted: January 9, 2011 12:06 AM