Actual Great Moments in De-Evolution: Indoor Firework Projector

Today's Break Moments in De-Evolution revealed the painful conclusions of setting off Fourth of July fireworks on your body, which I'm sure most of you guys wouldn't even attempt to do...right?

So how can you de-evolve your Independence Day without physically harming yourself? Try the Uchiage Hanabi fireworks projector, where you won't even have to venture outside to witness the beauty of lighting up the vast night sky with thousands of colourful chemical explosions.

Nope, you can stay right where you are, which would be on the sofa inside your nicely air-conditioned living room.

This is perfect, right? I mean, who cares about being outside? All that heat and humidity? The smoke? The bugs? The annoying neighbors? And I also hate it when you sit on the grass and your butt gets all wet. Ugh, ANNOYING.

Now thanks to the Uchiage Hanabi projecter, the wonders of fireworks will play out on your ceiling, which means you won't even have to lift your head as you lie prone on your dirty sofa, stuffed full of microwavable hot dogs and stale chips. All you have to do is find a stick long enough to poke the power button from where you are.

I can't wait until Independence Day 2010 rolls around!