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Gene Unyons' Weekly Movie Reviews

geneunyons
Posted April 2, 2009 - By Gene Unyons

Hey Unyonites! It's Thursday, the internet's juiced, and I'm in my underwear. That can only mean one thing - It's time for me to run you through this weekend's movie releases, many (all) of which I will not be able (willing) to see due to circumstances beyond my control (fear of the sun and noses.) Grab some Funyons! I'm Gene Unyons!

Adventureland

Adventureland
Oh man, the SNL guy who gets into character by putting on a mustache and that SNL girl who's really funny, and is that Michael Cera or just somebody that kind of looked like him? How many times did the director say, "Alright, people, let's go again, and Curly, I like what you're doing, but give me more Cera."  People die at carnivals all the time.
- 7 Maids A-Milking


Fast & Furious

Fast & Furious
I've been taking a distance learning class on Haiku, so I thought I would knock out two assignments in one:
Drop the thes from name
And change the and to an &
You'll have a new film
- 2 Robert Patricks


Alien Trespass

Alien Trespass
This homage to 50s sci-fi flicks, takes the idea of post-war economic boom and flaunts it in our post-war 2009 economic catastrophe faces. It's limited release will mean I am unable to attend, but I bet there's plenty of campy special effects, running through the woods, and creepy smoking men. It's also directed by the X-Files guy, so hopefully we'll see some tatas.
- 30 Thumbs


Zooey

Gigantic
Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel Zooey Deschanel.
- 10 Zooeys


Editor's Note: Gene is experiencing some health issues and may not be with us next week for his movie reviews. Please keep him in your thoughts.

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