Today on DVDuesday, Chris Gore will review the movies Batbabe: The Dark Nightie, and Ironbabe, two softcore treatments of recent films, and it got us thinking about other films of the day that might do well with a softcore treatment. Of course, what film wouldn't be made instantly better with a ton of lingerie-clad B-listers making out with each other and rubbing each other's negative zone?
However, we have an obligation, so here we go.
Quantum of Lace - Jane Boned is in a quandary. She's being held captive by the evil Dr. No-No, a Russian sexpot from the evil spy organization SMOOCH, and she's got to kiss and lick her way out of a prison filled with latex fetishists and hot women made of chocolate. Also, she is tied to a chair where her nether regions are tantalizingly whipped with a rope.
Mamma Mia! Pappa Pia! - A young woman travels to Greece to figure out which of her mother's three female lovers she most resembles. Peppered with songs by Vanity 6, the film is a musical romp through the Mediterranean, during which she has to taste test all three women to see which of them most closely matches her.
The Curious Case of Beverly Butt - A young lady is born old and spends the rest of her life aging backward to the point of sexual maturity. Over the course of her strange life, she meets and makes love with a number of men who age normally, and has an affair with a hot, redheaded ballet dancer who looks strangely like Cate Blanchett.
Loverfield - A young hottie and her extraordinarily hot friends are being chased by a ridiculously scary monster, but decide to spend the rest of their days partying and exploring each other's sexuality. It's all shot with a handheld camera, but there's plenty to see, including faint glimpses of the monster, who is actually a Russ Meyer-esque stripper with the largest breasts ever on recorded film.