Cars

The world just seems to be full of undiscovered Mensa members who play with lighters while pumping gas.

This guy, however, completes the trifecta of fail in an amazing way by not only lighting his car and himself on fire, but also makes a mad dash right past a very visible fire extinguisher that was mere inches away and never looks back.

Sudden Attack fans, it's up to you to save G4TV's own Attack of the Show! host Candace Bailey from the gas chamber in the free-to-play first-person shooter's new hostage mode. Hostage mode will pit the red and blue teams against one another, with one squad fighting to save the hostage while the other tries to keep them from doing so.  Candace is replacing the captured Korean movie star in the game, and we have an exclusive trailer showing how it all went down.

After the break, you can find a short interview we did with Candace regarding her big new role.

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"Oh, so you came to the aquarium to gawk at all of marine life, have you?

Well, take a look at me, I'm standing here like an upright bipedal mammal. I like to hang around coffee shops talking about cars, the economy, movies, and where to get good sushi. I'm totally in love with myself!

...You hear that? That's the sizzle of me giving you a massive BURN!"

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Not only does your car get its wax on and off repeatedly until all the employees pull a muscle, but you get to witness the birth of some great martial artists.

Tips are not required, but will be accepted; especially if it happens to be the occasional bonsai tree.

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Warning: Bad Language.

When a hail storm has hit your car with a barrage of pellets, cracking your windshield to the point of virtually no visibility, most people might be inclined to at least pull over and wait things out a bit.

This guy, however, operates on a personal philosophy of only moving forward.

"Being able to see where you're driving" is for wusses.

I believe they call that position the "reverse cargirl."

It's clear that these cars are too fixated on exhibitionism and will likely run into major issues later on in the relationship when the public car-sex gets old.

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Sure, once I make my way to the lane on the far right, that car will probably have a sign that says "find another route, loser."

Nobody wants to share the road with me! **sob, sob, sniffle, sniffle**

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In Russia, the expectations for cars to even make it intact through a long trip across the country on a carrier are pretty low.

Besides, they're going to need to recycle all the metal they can if they want to show capitalism and people who don't consider vodka a basic food group who's boss.

This model was either struck with the urge to do some kind of bizarre improvisational dance for the onlooking crowd, or she suffers from a condition that causes her to snatch-scratch and swing uncontrollably.

Of course, it could be that Hyundai is attempting to create a new dance craze for promotional purposes.

In Russia, the ladies who can't afford a blow dryer turn to the bass power of their overcompensating boyfriends' car stereo systems which cost more rubles than the entirety of the crappy hostel they collectively call home.

It works to a certain extent, but the image of an attractive young woman in a fur coat bending over, peering her head into the window of a parked car tends to lead onlookers into a completely different direction on what's happening.