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This Box Contains Patriotism

Baxter
Posted October 16, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This Box Contains Patriotism

This box that's wedged against the top of this ceiling isn't just any old cardboard box; It's the corrugated king of cardboard made from the trees of Mount Vernon and mixed with blood of bald eagles.

It's the essence of America and you'd best handle it with pride and dignity if you know what's good for you.

[Via]

This Milk Is A Bit Past Its Due Date

This is the type of thing you find when you comb through the milk delivery service's "Dead Jug Office."

They're still trying to verify whether this jug is from 1538 A.D. or B.C., but it should be noted that it contains an entire fermented universe full of planets with advanced beings possessing Star Trek-like technology.

[Source]

Gangnam Style Invades Star Wars

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Luke arrived on Bespin because The Force told him that his friends would be double-crossed and left both under custody and carbonite. However, even before Leia managed to tell him, he still had to suspect it was a trap.

Oh, it was a trap, all right. A trap of pure, unadulterated swagger!

Now, young Skywalker would have to deal with not only Boba Fett and Darth Vader, but an Internet-fueled dance craze that was cool at first, but is just now starting to border on irritating.

Ant-Man Gets Release Date

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Ant-Man Gets Release Date

Marvel Studios has made a few announcements today about its upcoming film projects, most notably with a release date for the mysterious Ant-Man.

November 6, 2015 will be the date when protean professor, Hank Pym makes his "small" debut on the big-screen in Marvel's movieverse under the vision of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Hot Fuzz director, Edgar Wright.

Additionally, the future of some other solo Avengers will be in three dimensions when Iron Man 3 (May 3, 2013) and Thor: The Dark World (November 8, 2013) have been announced to hit theaters in 3D.

Read More »

Agent Coulson To Return On S.H.I.E.L.D. TV Show

It seems that even death at the hands of Loki could not stop the fan favorite phenomena that is Agent Coulson.

At New York Comic Con over the weekend, Coulson himself, Clark Gregg would surprise fans on stage at the Marvel panel in a celebration of his character that at times was even emotional. However, his presence there wasn't just for the benefit of the fan's wistful longings.

Marvel's head of television, Jeph Loeb would also take the stage to drop a bombshell bit of news: Clark Gregg will reprise his role as Agent Coulson in the upcoming S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series.

What will the presence of the smooth, badass, albeit presumably-dead agent mean for the show?

Read More »

High Bar Base Jump Epic Fail

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Norwegian base jumper, Richard Henriksen took to this high cliff in his home country to integrate the grace of high bar gymnastics with ball-to-the-walls parachuted leaps off high peaks.

Unfortunately he may have opted to save to a couple of bucks buying a high bar made in China, because after a few swings above this majestic drop, the device would force Henriksen to make a premature dismount...down the cliff.

Thankfully, his parachute deployed and he lived to tell the tale. The high bar, however, got its just deserts, plunging down to a rock-solid abyss.

Check it out from another angle below.

Read More »

Luke's Real Father

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Luke's Real Father

It looks like Darth Vader has a lot more to scream "nooooo!" about after finding out in this impromptu episode of The Maury Povich Show outside a Church Halloween display that his beloved Padme got around a lot more than he thought.

It looks like Luke's Jedi training will take a backseat to curing lepers and turning water into wine.

While certainly a far cry from blowing-up the Death Star and restoring balance to The Force, it's still something.

[Source]

Redneck Funeral Procession

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Redneck Funeral Procession

Once they arrive at their destination of the spot in the woods where the deceased made his favorite moonshine, they'll pop "Freebird" into the 8-track player installed on this "used-to-be-a-sedan" and remember the good times.

At that point, they'll bury the ashes. -- The coffin was just used as a giant beer cooler.

[Via]

Cat Is Not Liking The Cake

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Cat Is Not Liking The Cake

"So, that's supposed to be me, huh?

That's how you really see me? As some green-eyed, giant-headed abomination with a stupid curly smile?

Well, I guess it's the thought that counts. -- Even if that thought maliciously saps me of what little self-esteem I had left."

[Source]

Those Tail Lights Are Panting

Baxter
Posted October 15, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Those Tail Lights Are Panting

Sure, it might be a tad inconsiderate that this vehicle's tail lights are leaving a stream of slobber that splashes all over the windows of anyone unfortunate enough to get stuck behind it.

However, they also serve as an organic proximity detector to close-moving rear traffic. -- That is, as long as no one throws a stick.

[Via]

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