Cars

We've seen in the past what manhole covers that randomly decide to fart pure momentum can do to innocent commuters. However, besides dangerously being a few feet from a mother pushing her baby in a stroller, this car gets sent into a rather epic sedan-faceplant.

It just goes to show that all cars need to be equipped with anti-flying-manhole suspension kits. (Available at your local Pep Boys and Auto Zone.)

Who is safe from this smelly lottery of carnage?

In Russia, the military has made advances in transporting personnel with the use of clown car technology, enabling them to transport legions of troops in one small compact vehicle.

Additionally, it runs on pure vodka, so if they ever ran out of fuel, troops could just empty their standard-issue flasks into the tank. (If willing.)

The Dark Knight Rises trailers have been epic enough, but thanks to this clip from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, the addition of a voice-over by Pee-Wee Herman really helps you appreciate how Batman is the luckiest boy in the world with all the cool toys, flying "not-a-cars," and voluptuous cat-burglars in his life.

Of course, Jambi the genie probably could have done him a solid by letting him know ahead of time that Bane was coming to town, but whatever.

"So close, yet so far. But, don't get too confident, you yummy cars. I've got the virtue of patience and the luxury of time.

I'll be snacking on a Subaru in no time; mark my words!"

It's a good thing the driver had this poor woman to let out of the car from a distance that seemed to be about half a mile down the road. If not, he would have had to...**gulp** drive up to the machine, roll down the window and grab the ticket himself!

Fortunately, such extreme measures proved unnecessary, as the woman grabs the ticket, raising the barrier, and even takes one in the face for the team.

All in all, a solid plan.

Yup, those little racing cars certainly fit the scale of what can be truthfully referred to as an "ass toy."

However, as usually is the case with the clearance bin, it's always full of stuff the store is just trying to unload that no one wants. So, don't expect to find any of those fancy self-lubricating cars.

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Come together...right now...in the emergency room.

Looks like Ringo was turned into Abbey Road Pizza.

I guess Mean Mr. Mustard finally got his revenge.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer wasn't the only thing they needed to worry about getting hit by.

This is what happens when Sunday's on the phone to Monday and not paying attention to the road.

And in the end, the speeding car you face is equal to the bones you break.

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"Hey, you guys cool with this? I'm a bit fatigued. I need to get downtown. According to Bird Alerts there's a Rolls-Royce coming a few miles down and we've got to bombard it with droppings, sooo...

Oh, so you can't help me out then? Fine...whatever...have a nice day."

It turns out that Scrappy-Doo was prophetic when he used to scream "Puppy Power."

However, while this is certainly a green-friendly way to drive around town, having a car that chases random squirrels and sidetracks at fire hydrants is not exactly an ideal commuter experience.

While an attitude like this might come back to bite them, they're just not picky about parking at this place.

The way they see it, just about any clusterf**k will resolve itself, so as long as people park the cars upright and not on top of one another, it's all good.

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