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Nerd Alert

Liam Neeson: The Musical

Baxter
Posted October 2, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Warning: Bad Language.

With Taken 2 set to hit theaters this weekend, it's apparent that the usual rogues gallery of hungry wolves and smelly traffickers just haven't quite learned what happens when you mess with Liam Neeson or his family. Perhaps this video will serve as a proper warning to those foolish enough to keep provoking this unstoppable force of class and violence.

This musical tells you everything that you need to know about "Neeson Season." It's chock full of vengeance and badassery, with a hint of noble wisdom. -- Although, the whole vengeance and badassery part is definitely the dominant trait.

The Hobbit: New White Council Poster

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has released a new poster focusing on an aspect of the film we had not yet seen: The White Council.

While such a thing wouldn't mean much to casual fans of The Lord of the Rings films, for fans who have been following The Hobbit closely, this meeting is an important event in understanding what Gandalf's role will be in The Hobbit films and what part he played in the initial incidents that would set the events some fifty years later in the Rings films into motion.

Depicting Ian McKellen's Gandalf, Cate Blanchett's Galadriel, Hugo Weaving's Elrond, we also get our first glimpse of Christopher Lee reprising his role as would-be-turncoat White Wizard Saruman.

Check out the full poster below.

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This collaboration of the most hipper-than-thou hipster princesses to ever come out of the Disney animated factory of polished fairy tales hits New York's Times Square with a euphonic musical bomb harder than a container of tofu-flavored vegan sushi with custom-made Fugazi chopsticks.

You certainly won't see any of those Sally-come-lately princesses like Jasmine or Mulan in here, since claiming they were anything before it was cool is just not possible.

Connery Discount

Baxter
Posted October 1, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Connery Discount

This is the kind of promotion you need to run as a business owner if you want to survive in a town that both loves the original James Bond films and hates Jeopardy! with a passion.

It should be noted that ordering in the voices of either Roger Moore or George Lazenby is a serious offense and will actually result in a 10% increase of your bill followed by a lot of nasty looks.

[Source]

Finally, the Kumite competition in Jean-Claude Van Damme's Bloodsport gets some exciting additions to its storyline.

Now, the fates of Earthrealm and Outworld hang in the balance over this once-simple martial arts tournament in which the most ridiculous, over-the-top fatalities are as legal as a lunge punch.

For the purposes of logistics, Van Damme's role of Frank Dux has been changed to Johnny Cage, which is fine, since swapping one d**k-puncher for another makes this no less epic.

Bane's New Business

Baxter
Posted September 28, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Bane's New Business

Just because a guy broke your back one time during a difficult period in his life, doesn't mean he isn't able to repair the damage he's done.

Not satisfied with his prison DIY "hanging by a rope" method of chiropractic therapy, Batman has found himself in a pickle about whether it's worth the risk to save money and take advantage of this free treatment.

[Source]

Batman Dances

You kids, with your new-fangled moves like "The Bernie" and "The Roger Rabbit," don't know squat about dancing. Study these pics of the one and only Dark Knight doing "The Batusi" with Ben Schwartz and Candace Bailey on today's AOTS, and see how a genuine superhero cuts a rug! Then, do likewise, lest you get served by some dastardly evildoer.

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Worst Movie Death Scene Ever?

Baxter
Posted September 27, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

At this point, we're rather desensitized to even the most extreme forms of movie violence.

Yet, this clip from the 1973 Turkish film, Kareteci Kiz demonstrates that all you need to amp-up the drama is a little creative editing and some slow-motion to give a huge boost of epicness to this rather pedestrian scene of a guy getting shot.

Just as Hitchcock never actually shows the knife stabbing into a showering Janet Leigh in Psycho, despite people swearing they saw it, you'll see this guy smearing red paint on his shirt, but swear you saw bullets ripping through him with extreme prejudice.

The Hobbit: New Dwarftastic Poster

Baxter
Posted September 27, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

The Hobbit: New Dwarftastic Poster

As we find ourselves just a few months shy of the December 14 release of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, an interesting new poster has been released showing the group of 13 dwarves who will be accompanying Martin Freeman's Bilbo Baggins on his epic journey in the film trilogy.

With leader, Richard Armitage's Thorin Oakenshield in the center, we see him with among the group consisting of Bombur, Bofur, Bifur, Balin, Dwalin, Kili, Fili, Oin, Gloin, Dori, Ori, and Nori.

It's certainly a poster that embraces its large cast of eccentric dwarves; an aspect of the book-to-movie transition that was once considered a major crutch.

Check out the full poster below!

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You're A Wizard, Hully

Baxter
Posted September 26, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

You're A Wizard, Hully

With the help of his best friends, Helmione and Lon, Hully Potter would eventually grow up to rid Hogwalts from the evil Vordemolt and his army of Derp Eaters.

Of course, you would have a long way to go in the storyline if you're only just starting the prorogue.

[Source]

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