Where would ye be without the moral compass that is In Your Pantaloons? Lost among the heathens and harlots, assuredly.
I accidently walked in on my parents having sex. My dad saw me, but my mother didn't. It's made things weird at home. I feel like I should talk about it, but maybe I should just let it go. Will things get better if we just talk it out?
Nay, thou shouldst not speak of this again, especially to thine mother. I shalt be home shortly.
I can only get girls when I act like a total jerk. I hate it and feel bad later. What should I do?
Thou knowest it is a sin to mistreat thine brothers and sisters. So, I suppose what ye should do is prepare for a life of loneliness and solitude.
I cheated on my wife about a year back and she's still mad at me and absolutely refuses to have sex. Is there any way to get back in her good graces?
There is but one course of action, pray for a quick death, for ye have chosen to make thine life a living hell. Instead of sex, ye shall have no rest day or night.