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This Shrek Is Always Angry

Baxter
Posted October 22, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This Shrek Is Always Angry

This book bag must represent the director's cut of Shrek 2 in which Shrek is accidentally exposed to gamma radiation and then uses his new powers to take vengeance on the would-be cuckolding Prince Charming by ripping off his head and punting it into orbit.

Besides being a nightmare of a clearance process over intellectual property, it may have been a bit dark for a film marketed to children.

[Source]

Squeezed Only From The Finest Asses

Baxter
Posted October 22, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Squeezed Only From The Finest Asses

The variety of bottles represented in this ad are not supposed to be different flavors so much as they are the foods that the people were eating before the juice was naturally processed and extracted.

It's probably no coincidence that stores keep these drinks located near the laxatives section.

[Source]

Why Would Gulliver Travel There?

Baxter
Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Why Would Gulliver Travel There?

Perhaps looking to get itself far away and buried deep from the 2010 box-office bomb starring Jack Black, this version decided to go down a different direction.

We'll have to see what the critics do to penetrate deep into the film and shed some light.

[Source]

Justice League Looks For A 2015 Showdown

It looks like the Justice League could be ready to give some heavy competition to The Avengers sequel.

At this point, it appears that Summer 2015 is the target release period for this dream film, which Warner Bros studio hopes to begin shooting as soon as next year.

With the announcement yesterday that Warner is indeed moving forward with their own answer to the big-screen dream crossover, it seems that their ambitions won't be diminished by Marvel's over $1.5 billion money-making machine. Thus, 2015 could be the year that two of the biggest titans in the history of comic book films square-off.

What will DC have up their sleeves to unseat the current champs at Marvel?

Read More »

Spanish And French Are Officially Covered

This is a perfect example of what happens when you hire design people who take their instructions far too literally while continuing to inject their former career as monster truck commercial announcers into the project.

I guess speakers of French and Spanish can at least take some solace that the makers took time to give them a bit of a shout-out.

[Via]

He Was In The Mood For Grilled Cheese

When you're craving a grilled cheese sandwich, a couple slices of Wonder Bread housing a crusty piece of cheddar sloppily wrapped in wax paper isn't going to do the job.

That's why innovators like this kid, armed with nothing but a Foreman Grill and a big set of balls are here to show those lunch ladies that there's a better way to attend to the culinary needs of growing high-schoolers.

[Source]

No One Smells A Fart Like Him

Baxter
Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

No One Smells A Fart Like Him

All this guru of gas needs to discern things about your general health is your cooperation and a couple of burritos.

With much less resistance than many healthcare providers, he'll pull your finger and then quickly give you his dingy diagnosis.

He'll either send you on your way to proper specialists or give you a sulfur-stunk bill of health.

[Via]

This Cart Looks Stable

Baxter
Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This Cart Looks Stable

Who would have ever thought that the combination of being both homeless and a hoarder would be logistically possible?

I'm not sure what's keeping all that junk from splattering off the cart and all over the sidewalk even in its parked state, much less when it's moving. Of course, as one of the boxes indicates, it may just be "magic."

[Source]

Electric Fence Is A Bit Grainy

Baxter
Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Electric Fence Is A Bit Grainy

...And by "electric" they mean the electric impulses that will go through your body if you touch this fence and get a painful splinter.

Peeing on this electric fence will serve to keep animals away. Although, it might make it prematurely warp a little over time.

[Via]

Fire Alarm Is Not So Simple After All

You're pretty much looking at the future if spiders suddenly take to the lifestyle of a pyromaniac.

They only need to set a fire, camp by the fire alarm and revel in the faces of any potential good Samaritan who comes to pull it.

Eventually, as the building is evacuated, it silently watches from the outside in arachnid-gasmic delight as the building burns to a fine cinder.

[Via]

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