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The sinister wishes of Dr. Evil and all other world-takeover-enthusiasts may have finally come true. (Well, they're not sharks, but it still beats mutant sea bass.)

...Unless you can think of another good reason for the invention of robot fish with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.

Maybe sport for robot fisherman?

This butt-hurt ball-bag-wearing umpire presiding over a minor league baseball game with the Daytona Cubs got a little steamed when "Three Blind Mice" played over the PA, so he used his authority (that he apparently has as umpire) to actually eject the stadium's music man from the game.

What ever happened to the days of good-tempered umpires like Enrico Palazzo who just wanted to dance and molest the players?

Running Of The Olympic Banana

Baxter
Posted August 2, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Forget running the Olympic Torch; that's so passe.

Besides, you can't eat a torch can you? You also can't peel a torch open and chuck the peels back at your enemies during high speed chases like in Mario Kart.

Face it, fake qualitative and quantitative studies have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that bananas are just better than torches.

Olympic Divers On The Toilet

Baxter
Posted August 1, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Olympic Divers On The Toilet

It may be the case that fate had a hand in steering the most elite of Olympic divers to train for their achievements by way of horrible, horrible constipation.

I'm not sure if cheeses are on the diet of athletes of this caliber, but judging from the looks on their faces, the dive they are most used to performing is the drop of the toilet cannonball.

[Source]

Whoever is under the impression that golf is a slow, boring sport for rich people might want to reconsider that position if more nutshot-centric activity was integrated.

In this case, a hapless cameraman shooting a drive competition had no idea that one competitor's ball was looking for a painful threesome with two other balls: His.

Tonight On AOTS: Black Dynamite's Michael Jai White, Total Recall Cast Interviews & More

On tonight's Attack of the Show, Baratunde Thurston and Sara Underwood bring you Michael Jai White live in studio for the Black Dynamite series on Adult Swim, Tiffany Smith talks to Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale about the new Total Recall while we tell you what to watch with Devin Faraci and Anthony Breznican! We also discuss the role of technology in sports on The Loop. Tune in tonight 7/6c for more.

Tags: Movies, TV

Avengers Olympians

Baxter
Posted August 1, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Avengers Olympians

Are the Olympics not quite your bag? Are you bored by the constant coverage and posts on unrelated blogs (like this one, I suppose) using them for timely hit-getting material?

Well, maybe if you were able to imagine the athletic Olympians as members of The Avengers, things might be a little more palatable.

Now, thanks to ira_scargeear, the idea of the U.S. Olympic team being able to say "we have a Hulk" is easier to grasp.

Check out the rest below!

Read More »

Booger-Bomb?

Baxter
Posted August 1, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Booger-Bomb?

Sure, you could spend years of dedication working hard to learn skills and physically craft your body in the quest for Olympic gold. Or, like the guy in the background, you could just go mining for your own gold.

They would make nose-picking an Olympic sport, but the committee feels that allergy sufferers would have an unfair advantage.

[Source]

It must be quite the contrast to watch some amazing athleticism in synchronized diving only to discover that you are utterly incapable of even sitting in your seat without taking a cartoonish tumble.

Who knows? Maybe if "Seat Sitting" ever becomes an Olympic event, this guy could train hard and come back for redemption in the Rio 2016 games.

"Oh, jeez. I was just trying to cross the street when suddenly all of these people following this guy holding a giant cigarette just started rushing past me and I've been stuck running with them for about 5 miles, now.

I don't think I'm gonna make it...."

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