Oh, please! This girl's just having fun at the expense of the terrorism-conscious.
It probably just contains a book, some makeup, sunglasses, and a few sealed letters addressed to her congressman filled with anthrax.
When driving by this tree, you'll just need to be careful that your car doesn't look too much like doughnuts, or anything remotely doughnut-related.
The last thing you want is a giant tree trying to swallow you whole, while reaching for a giant can of Duff beer to wash you down.
Of course, if it does make a move, just swerve to avoid it, lest your ears pop from the loud "doh!" noise it'll make if you hit it.
According to his profile on Angie's List, what he lacks in quantity, he makes up for in accuracy.
Sure, he could just settle comfortably with benefits and a 401(k) into a corporate sperm donor job, but he's always been the type that wants to be his own boss.
Tragedies like this will continue to occur as long as the beaver community keeps insisting on attempting to make "fail" videos for the Internet without weighing the consequences.
This one in particular was a "beaver parkour" attempt that, ironically enough, ended up leaving him squashed under a tree he'd been chewing on just a few hours earlier.
Ohhh snap! Batman made the fatal mistake of going down the "rip on parental role models" route, completely oblivious to the clear opening that would leave for his web-slinging opponent.
Come on, Batman! There are so many other avenues to go down with Spidey. Dead girlfriends, divorce, being cloned, etc.
The folks of FakeLife have dropped a gigantic 90's nostalgia bomb with a blast radius too large to determine.
Sure, for some, the 90's was an odd time of borrowed styles, filled with screechy cookie-cutter post-Nirvana alternative acts, old-school style hip-hop about big butts, and 16-bit video game systems stretched to their absolute graphical limits.
However, for those who were younger during that period, it was a more magical time of Pokemon and Nickelodeon-infused color where songs about being a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World, would play in the background amidst split-screen GoldenEye deathmatches and Mario Kart races.
Indeed, it was a world where Michael Bay asteroid movies made you cry and the most sexually-scandalous book out there was not Fifty Shades of Grey, but The Starr Report.
Dave Holmes continues his gig as co-host of Attack of the Show as he and Candace Bailey welcome actor Tom Weston-Jones to talk BBC America's new 1864 detective drama "Copper" and review the new Canon EOS Rebel T4i Digital Camera. They'll also check out just-released blockbuster game Borderlands 2, round up the day's biggest news in tech with Sara Underwood and more! Tune in tonight 7/6c.
"What am I reading? Well, it's a fascinating tale chronicling the life of a "p" key and its struggles living underneath the oppression of all those other letter keys.
...Honestly, I'm not just standing here pretending to read in an effort to avoid awkward eye contact in this tight subway car or anything."
Already feeling like one of the common folk because of the mere announcement of his iPhone 5's existence, this kid must be super-pissed at Mom and Dad for not paying Apple to engineer him the iPhone 6 in advance.
Batman's not having it. -- And that's coming from someone who already has the iPhone 8 paired with the Batmobile.
Meanwhile, in an alternate reality where Kodak conquered the phone market....
While it doesn't let you tweet or play Angry Birds, at least you won't have to worry about megapixel inferiority complexes with other Kodaphone users.
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