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Epic Launch Into The Water

Posted June 12, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

It appears that the person sitting on the float has managed to reach amazing new heights from being double-teamed. (From the impact weight of two people jumping on the other end, of course.)

If this concept could be incorporated into water parks across the world, new employment options would be open for fat folks.

Lady Vs. Parking Garage

Posted June 11, 2012 - By Moye Ishimoto

Sometimes the hardest part about driving isn't dealing with crazy pedestrians or other cars on the street. And not rude people on bicycles. It's those damn parking garage walls! They'e so stationary yet keep getting in the way.

For more viral videos, watch Around the Net on Attack of the Show every weeknight at 7/6c!

Who needs to look both ways, or any ways, for that matter when you're rolling along on your skateboard around a blind corner into a street?

That's for cautious people who aren't hardcore enough to get hit in the face from a high-speed moving truck!

To make lemonade out of lemons, other than needing a wheel replacement, that board still looks okay.

Some people do yoga, others take leisurely jogs in the park, but in the Ukraine, the physical activity of choice is DEFYING DEATH.

Warning: This is not an activity for those who suffer from vertigo and people who place some kind of value on their lives in general.

BMX Ramp Fail

Posted May 8, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

There's nothing like the sound of vertebrae smashing against the sharp edge of a ramp to let you know you're in a proper BMX Park.

This guy needs to hurry up and walk it so other people have the chance to crush their spines into a fine powder as well.

"Okay, Son, just push the button, open your mouth, and let the water go in. -- Yeah, you might not want to lick the bottom of the sink there, it's probably filled with other peoples' bacteria, so.....and there he goes."

Dirty Bus Seat Is Dirty

Posted February 3, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

It's always encouraging to know that public transportation provides you with seating supported by what has to be pounds of other peoples' ass dust. Thanks for that.

The AFC Championship Game kicked-off yesterday with this vocal performance from the one and only Steven Tyler.

While some people are hearing the Rock Legend and American Idol judge in his normal form, others are hearing off-key screeching and embarrassing ad-libbing of the lyrics.

I'm hearing Enrico Palazzo rocking-out.

The Final Answer: Vampires Vs. Werewolves

We've seen it in films like the recently released Underworld: Awakening, we've watched it happen in the Twilight trilogy and now the war over which is better, vampires or werewolves, is going to be waged right here on Attack of the Blog. This nerdy conflict has been going on longer than the actual war between vampires and lycans and today, we're going to settle it! Two children of the night will enter the metaphorical ring, but only one will leave alive undead.

So, you're going with vampires?

Yep. It’s not even really a contest. Sure, werewolves are vicious and feral, but they have to do all their work on four legs, and can be undone by a simple silver bullet. Mythos varies on how to dispose of vampires, but at the very least it involves cutting their heads off and lighting them on fire. And even that hasn’t been proven to work. (See: Vampire Lestat, The) Also, vampires are sartorially splendid, and just sexier on the whole. In fact, they raise the general appeal of being undead, which is a miracle, considering they exist in the same class as zombies.

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Filipino Traffic Cop Boogies Down

Posted January 20, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This dancing guru of gridlock isn't about to let his job of keeping people from crashing into each other get mundane.

He should probably just be careful that he doesn't moonwalk into a minivan, lest he have to do the rest of his crotch-grabbing in the emergency room.

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