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With some slight modifications to the dialogue by the folks at BadLipReading, the gloomy love story of 100+ year-old emo vampires who perpetually maintain a social circle of teenagers becomes something far more palatable.

Now, we have an epic love story about a vampire who is addicted to slapping and punching fish who meets an expression-deprived girl who spits on siblings for fun.

Suddenly, the saying, "still a better love story than Twilight" is validated in a whole new way.

Dragon*Con 2012 Cosplay Pictures

Posted September 4, 2012 - By Eugene Morton

Being at Dragon*Con is like being in an alternate universe where characters like The Avengers, Batman, Doctor Who and Master Chief are real. It's a nerd fantasy come to life, and if you couldn't be in attendance this year, then you owe it to yourself to meticulously pour over the galleries of Dragon*Con 2012 cosplay pics that we've so lovingly assembled.

Just take care not to become so transfixed by our Dragon*Con costume photos that you start missing work or school… or do. The authority figures that rule your life will completely understand, we promise.

Dragon*Con 2012 Comic Book Cosplay PicturesDragon*Con 2012 Videogame Cosplay PicturesDragon*Con 2012 Movies & TV Cosplay PicturesDragon*Con 2012 Cosplay Parade PicturesDragon*Con 2012 Anime & Manga Cosplay PicturesDragon*Con 2012 Steampunk & More Cosplay Pictures

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Trailer Hits

The trailer for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, has made its decapitating debut.

The film is a reimagination of the ubiquitous 1812 Grimm fairy tale that was meant to scare German children from wandering from their log cabins. Now, it will be used to scare those broom-riding, baby-baking-bitches from doing anything ever.

Starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the titular sibling duo, they've gone from leaving trails of breadcrumbs in the woods to slaying evil witches and burning them with wood until all that's left resembles breadcrumbs.

Check out the trailer below, which hits you with an automatic crossbow of ass-kicking.

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"Everything" Doesn't Mean Everything

Posted September 4, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

And by "20% off," they mean that they will take any book you try to buy with this coupon over to a bandsaw and physically cut-away 20% of the book.

They figure you won't care, since most book readers don't even make it halfway through the book and just end up waiting for the movie, anyway.


Tonight On AOTS: John Barrowman Co-Hosts, WWE's Eva Torres Visits & Apple iPhone 5 Rumors

Tune in tonight 7/6c for the return of Attack of the Show on G4 with Candace Bailey and this week's guest co-host, John Barrowman! They talk to WWE Diva Champion Eve Torres about winning NBC's Stars Earn Stripes, the latest Apple iPhone 5 rumors on The Loop and Chris Gore's review of Piranha 3DD on DVDuesday. Also, Blair Butler shares some steamy comic book picks for Fresh Ink, just in time to wrap up the summer heat. See you tonight.

Tags: The Loop, TV

The Hobbit: Sequels Get New Name And Release Date

After the news hit about The Hobbit films becoming a trilogy, this past weekend would see the announcement of the changes made to the release schedule, specifically for the second and third films.

With the first film, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey pretty much set in stone for December 14, 2012, it was revealed that the second film will now be called The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, set for December 13, 2013, followed by the third and final film, The Hobbit: There and Back Again (previously the title of the second film,) now set to for July 18, 2014.

How much of an effect will it have?

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The Hob-Bot Will "Terminate" Evil

Posted August 30, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Realizing that sending Bilbo Baggins on an extraordinary adventure to reclaim a mountain from a freaking dragon was a little ill-conceived, Gandalf decided to give a buzz to some buddies from the human resistance movement in the future to send over a hero that's more experienced with "terminating" any obstacles it may encounter.

Orcs, goblins, trolls, spiders, beware! While this hobbit may have an inexplicable Austrian accent, it's not scared of you and certainly doesn't need to stop for "second breakfast" or "elevenses."

Dwarven travelers, go with him if you want to live.

Tonight On AOTS: Bill Nye The Science Guy, Comedian Dave Hill & Michael Ian Black Co-Hosts Again!

Michael Ian Black and Candace Bailey return for a new Attack of the Show, and tonight they talk to Bill Nye the Science Guy on The Loop about speaking out against teaching creationism, and comedian Dave Hill visits for his new book, Tasteful Nudes. Also, is the Samsung Series 6 plasma TV worth the $1,600 price tag? Tune in tonight 7/6c for more!

Tags: Books, Science, TV

Astronomy Genius Chimes In

Posted August 23, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Astronomy Genius Chimes In

Come on! Everyone knows that Mars doesn't have a sun...anymore.

Not after Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Kuato buddy came around and wrecked everything with guns, explosions, and bad puns, knocking Mars off its axis into its sun, bouncing it like a celestial 8-ball away into the cosmos.

Geez! Pick up a science book!


When You Know Your Computer Lab Sucks

Rather than spending the money to upgrade those Amstrad CPC's, this school decided to use its outmoded status as some kind of quirky symbolism.

The library is the same way, but hopefully with some upcoming book donations, students will be able to find out who won the 1988 presidential election.


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