"Weee! Playing Wiffle ball is so fun!
Throw the ball, daddy! Throw the ball! I can't wait for you to throw the...oh look, a bird! I love birds!
...Wait. Who are you, giant man? And why are you throwing Wiffle balls at me?"
I'm not sure if we're looking at the back of a woman with a giant clump of hair so matted that it hasn't been combed since the Carter administration, or if this is a front-facing photo of a guy in a ZZ Top tribute band.
Regardless, that clump of what used to be hair must be so solid by now, it qualifies as a bullet-proof vest.
It appears that fans got more than a mouthful during this Lady Gaga performance in Barcelona, Spain on Oct. 7.
Unlike a bulimic supermodel, she didn't even have to open her mouth and po-po-po-poke her face to induce this stream of vomiting.
In an effort, perhaps, to not be upstaged by Justin Bieber, the mistress of the Little Monsters handled her own on-stage upchucking with smoothness...even at the cost of some exposed lipsyncing.
The driver of this compact must have felt that having to drive around in a glorified Power Wheels warranted some special benefits that not even the handicapped can enjoy.
Although, I guess if there's one place that your car is guaranteed to not get hit by runaway carts left by lazy, inconsiderate people, it's going to be the cart return.
Remember that famous scene from I Love Lucy where Lucy has a comedic moment trying to stomp on grapes to make wine in Italy? This is like that, except with a race car.
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Peep holes are our best defense against unwanted doorstep-dupers like thieves, murderers, rapists, and people who try to sell homemade baked goods.
However, they can also be used to trick people into believing they have a guest that makes them shout "you don't say?" before thinking that he's here to steal the Declaration of Independence and simply got bad directions.
Face it, you didn't take up bike-riding because you like exercise and enjoy fresh air.
You did it because you can't afford car commuting, and you're afraid that riding a motorcycle might be perceived as a sign of toughness that will get your ass beat.
So, when the rare opportunity to look like a smooth customer like this self-directing bike-parking job comes along, you need to take all you can get.
If these letters get stolen, then s**t will get extremely real and they will begin posting violent and descriptive threats with impunity.
...Of course, those violent and descriptive threats will have to be in Morse code, seeing as all they will have left are dashes and periods.
Warning: Gratuitous Dog-Humping.
The combination of waking up hungover and alone in bed (or beneath one) is probably a sign that the night didn't go your way.
However, these two dogs decided to lighten this guy's spirits and give him the experience he was denied. -- Even if he isn't lucid enough to know it's happening.
Unfortunately, it looks like this inter-species hedonistic fling will exchange crabs for fleas between its participants.
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