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Movies

This Parenting Strategy Makes Sense

Sure, you mitigate the risk of killing your baby when you go the Teddy Bear route, but a real bear would teach the child how to scavenge for honey and picnic baskets...and also karate.

The Teddy Bear on the other hand, just sits there, not even making any one-liners like that one movie where Family Guy is Marky Mark's Teddy Bear.

[Source]

As we gear up for a night filled with more explosions than a Michael Bay movie marathon, it's good to know that some people want to ensure that future generations of "United States-ericans" don't forget why the Fourth of July is celebrated.

Just as with Valentine's Day and Christmas, impressionist, Laura McDonald gives us a K-Stewified holiday history lesson, one expression-deprived moment at a time.

The country's forefathers had to fight a brutal war to "invent" the fourth day of this month. Armed with hot dogs invented by Thomas Edison, they stuck it to King James' oppressive policies of taxation without representation...and the outlawing parades, fireworks, and pie.

"Where did the ball go? I saw you throw it, but then something happened and it never landed.

Tell me where it is, you scum!!! Did you just pretend to throw it and then hide it behind your back?

Is that what happened?! SWEAR TO ME!!!"

Iron Man 3 Concept Art Reveals Plot Point?

Iron Man 3 is already kicking into high gear, as we've already seen from the first set photo last month. However, Entertainment Weekly, who has already provided new Hobbit photos today, have also unveiled a new piece of concept art for Robert Downey Jr.'s next tenure in his palladium-powered suit.

The picture appears to depict a surprised Tony Stark under attack as pieces of his armor seemingly fly onto his body, unbeknownst even to him. This, of course, plays into the widely-known bit of info that the film will adapt parts of the "Extremis" comic book storyline in which Stark becomes bonded with his suit, operated by his sheer will with the help of nanotechnology. (I guess he can toss the wrist remote control.)

If you happen to be at Comic-Con in San Diego next week, then you may want to know that Marvel Studios will apparently be giving out posters of this very picture.

Iron Man 3 directed by Shane Black hits theaters on May 3, 2013.

[Source]

The Hobbit Releases 10 New Photos
"The Amazing Spider-Man?...Just no."

It was a film that once felt like a mere pipe-dream that was countless years away, but now, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey kicks-off the two-film epic in just five months on December 14.

In the meantime, Entertainment Weekly has provided 10 stunning new photos that give us a sneak peak at the film, all full of imagery that will ring familiar to anyone who's read the book or even saw the 1977 animated film.

Check out the rest of the photos below and get your appetite whetted for your impending return to Middle Earth!

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Tonight On AOTS: Paul Scheer Co-Hosts & Matt Besser Talks Freak Dance

Paul Scheer returns tonight as guest co-host of Attack of the Show with Sara Underwood! Together, they bring you Matt Besser from the Upright Citizens Brigade for their new film, Freak Dance, while Chris Gore brings his DVDuesday reviews of Breaking Bad season 4, God Bless American and Bullhead. Also, find out what happens when Candace rides shotgun with Bucky Lasek in his new Subaru WRX STI! Tune in tonight 7/6c.

Tags: Movies

Fifty Shades Of Greyskull

Baxter
Posted July 3, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Fifty Shades Of Grayskull

As under-achieving, cowardly Prince Adam, he could go nowhere with Teela. However, as He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe, he would have all the swagger he needs to shatter her misgivings, take her to his castle's mystical red dungeon, and ride his Battle-Ram up her Fright Zone.

[Via]

Patriotic Avengers Battle High Prices

"Make no mistake, competitors of this Trader Joe's. There is no version of this where you come out on top.

Maybe Walmart will price-match, maybe Albertson's will do double coupons, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect this supermarket, you can be damned well sure, we'll avenge it!"

[Source]

Django Unchained: New TV Spot

Baxter
Posted July 2, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Django Unchained: New TV Spot

A new minute-long trailer for Quentin Tarantino's upcoming spaghetti-western/blaxploitation hybrid, Django Unchained has hit.

Jamie Foxx plays the titular character, Django, a slave who ends up in the profession of bounty-hunting, thanks to his owner, Dr. King Schultz, played by Christoph Waltz, who promises him freedom in exchange for violently shooting a variety of presumably-evil plantation owners...with guns.

However, the big prize on Django's list appears to be a man named Calvin Candie who is played none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. He has something extremely valuable to Django in his possession: His wife.

Django gets unchained at theaters on December 25 to wreak Christmas havoc. Check out the new spot below, and the full trailer.

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One Way To Deal With A Father-In-Law

I think this menu entry was inspired from the porn version of the Meet the Parents movie series.

Let's just hope for the sake of logistics that the sausage doesn't come covered in syrup, because then things could get sticky and awkward.

[Source]

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