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"To pee or not to pee, that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler of the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of soiled diapers,

Or to take arms against the pureed prunes I had for lunch and hold it all in.

And by opposing these urges, risk being stuck sitting in both solids and liquids."

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The positioning of this slide may look like an egregious example of negligence and just overall baffling logic.

However, it may just be a result of kids getting extremely bored with their old playground who have found ways to make the old standards exciting again.

The pack of hungry hyenas they keep in bottom also bring a little adrenaline rush to the whole experience.

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They're not concerned about trivial things like grades or behavior at this school.

Rather, it's about determining which child will be the next to mysteriously "disappear" just before rump roast day in the cafeteria.

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"Wow. I have to say, human food is actually pretty tasty.

Indeed, I will openly admit that this 'cheeseburger' thing tastes a lot better than dead mice and, for that matter, my own crotch.

I guess I'll just have to own up and take back all the smack I've been talking."

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Sure, we could just dismiss this as a typo on the worst possible thing for which you could have a typo. (Other than making a typo in a comment correcting another person's typo.)

However, this headline may have been directed at the children themselves from the point of view of a frustrated teacher on the verge of a mental breakdown.

The sentence should have actually read: "Help, you child! Do better in school!"

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Just because a guy broke your back one time during a difficult period in his life, doesn't mean he isn't able to repair the damage he's done.

Not satisfied with his prison DIY "hanging by a rope" method of chiropractic therapy, Batman has found himself in a pickle about whether it's worth the risk to save money and take advantage of this free treatment.

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It seems that one of the oldest of anti-drug maxims may have accidentally led our children down an even darker, more grainy path with a cereal that, once upon a time, destroyed the life of a kid named "Mikey."

Look at this kid. He's not even bothering with the sanitary options of a clean mirror and razor blade. He's so hopped-up on grains, he's just going for broke and not even caring.

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"Yeah, I'm laying here bleeding in this car wreck, trapped against this tree inside the mangled remains of what used to be my car. And yeah, I'm likely to be critically injured with broken bones and internal bleeding with possible brain trauma.

However, I'm an Asian girl and someone is taking my picture. -- Case closed."

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This new streamlined menu of golden favorites is guaranteed to enter your system solid, but leave nothing but liquid.

For your convenience, you'll find this to be the only restaurant that wraps a fresh catheter next to the silverware on your table.

With that, you'll be ready to chow down uninterrupted by nature's call.

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When it comes to apple butter, don't settle for that synthetic-tasting store-bought crap. Make sure that you get something crafted from an artisan ho who knows how to do it right.

They're not going to reveal their creamy secret ingredient, but apparently production of it depends upon the rate of customers in their day job.

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