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These Dead People Are Sensitive

Posted August 6, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

These Dead People Are Sensitive

This is what happens when cemeteries aren't filling their quotas: They use guilt to trick hapless tourists into suffocating themselves, thereby adding to their collection.

It's not quite as subtle as some other cemeteries that just post "please text while driving" signs.


Whoever is under the impression that golf is a slow, boring sport for rich people might want to reconsider that position if more nutshot-centric activity was integrated.

In this case, a hapless cameraman shooting a drive competition had no idea that one competitor's ball was looking for a painful threesome with two other balls: His.

Theater Doesn't Care About The Olympics

Apparently, there's other things to do in London right now besides braving a sea of people in a giant stadium to watch people you've never heard of compete in sports that you don't normally give two craps about.

Instead of waddling through lines amongst the Olympic crowd, why not waddle yourselves into a theater to see the finest example of quality cinematic drama like...The Room?

You are tearing London apart, Olympics!


One Way To Save Money On Diapers

Why buy when you can rent?

You'll be relieved to know that Leamington Medical Supplies properly hoses-down all their adult diaper rentals so that they're only slightly funky from other peoples' waste.

Besides, it's not like your loved ones who are "up there in age" will even notice.


Looks Like Someone Is Taking The Advice

Distracted drivers mean chaos for the road and make no mistake, people texting while driving is only but one of those perils.

Thankfully, this rest stop has been set aside to help remedy and relieve the "other" situation.


As we gear up for The Dark Knight Rises this weekend, it certainly won't hurt to take an evaluative look at its predecessor, The Dark Knight.

He's the hero Gotham deserves...to spy on people in the bathroom and take blame for stuff based on shady logic convenient to a plot point about silent sacrifice and other complex Kierkegaardian concepts that make you want to mope around the house and shoot jaywalkers in Grand Theft Auto IV all day.

If there's anything that the film has taught us, it's that what evil fears the most is high-tech gadgets of questionable feasibility and grizzled voices. -- The grizzlier the better.

YouTube Ad Gets It Right

Posted July 11, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

YouTube Ad Gets It Right

While those ads are definitely annoying, you have give them props for being quick on the draw when it comes to the subject matter.

Unfortunately, things went downhill when the classic hit by Surface, "Shower Me With Your Love" inspired a pop-up banner for a freaky German site where people did just that to each other...literally.


Warning: Bad Language.

Perhaps more than any other holiday of the year, the Fourth of July tends to steer people into Darwinist bumps in the road, not to mention burns...lots of burns.

This compilation of some of the best firework fails out there demonstrates that while there's an argument for making all fireworks illegal, the lulz they provide us via dumb people is just too rewarding.

Django Unchained: New TV Spot

Posted July 2, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Django Unchained: New TV Spot

A new minute-long trailer for Quentin Tarantino's upcoming spaghetti-western/blaxploitation hybrid, Django Unchained has hit.

Jamie Foxx plays the titular character, Django, a slave who ends up in the profession of bounty-hunting, thanks to his owner, Dr. King Schultz, played by Christoph Waltz, who promises him freedom in exchange for violently shooting a variety of presumably-evil plantation owners...with guns.

However, the big prize on Django's list appears to be a man named Calvin Candie who is played none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. He has something extremely valuable to Django in his possession: His wife.

Django gets unchained at theaters on December 25 to wreak Christmas havoc. Check out the new spot below, and the full trailer.

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Some Traffic Deaths Are Fatal

Posted June 13, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Some Traffic Deaths Are Fatal

It's good to see that informative billboards such as this are making teens aware of the likelihood of losing their lives after dying.

I guess the other 60% of people involved in traffic deaths were using cheat codes.


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