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Toys

Legos: Bible Time

Moye
Posted August 19, 2009 - By Moye Ishimoto

Legos: Bible Time

Nope, this isn't the Lego storyboard for some weird and awesomely violent fantasy movie coming up soon. It's actually depicting the scene from Revelation 19:21 from the Bible, where the remaining human population will be slain by a sword coming out of some dude's mouth. Or something like that. My Bible studies are a little rusty and nonexistent.

Who knew that this book could be so violent, yet strangely adorable when depicted by plastic toys? You can check out the rest of the scenes here, and feel free to join in the religious debate unfolding in the comments.

Tags: Products

What About Captain Planet?

Moye
Posted August 10, 2009 - By Moye Ishimoto

What About Captain Planet?The box office success of G.I. Joe means it's only a matter of time before Hollywood pillages even more toys and cartoon series that we remember watching in our youth.

So here's what we propose: meet the action-packed, violent version of Captain Planet and the Planeteers (played by Nicholas Cage).

It's 2009, and evil businessman Looten Plunder releases a super polluting coal-burning zepplin to dump massive amounts of styrofoam cups, empty water bottles and those annoying plastic rings that keep six packs of soda cans together over the Atlantic Ocean. Why? Just because he can. We even show a heartbreaking scene of a baby seal watching his mom choke to death on all the inhumane pollution.

The beautiful blue waters of the ocean turn increasingly black and gross (maybe bring in Sly Sludge in this act?). Meanwhile, five young teenagers around the world discover they possess the magical powers of Gaia to help defend the precious environment. They reunite somewhere in Africa (transportation provided by vegetable oil powered vehicles and/or Toyota Priuses) and ultimately, Wheeler, Kwame, Linka (the hot chick) and the lame guy who got stuck with the HEART ring must learn important team skills to combine their powers to bring out Captain Planet (complete with green mullet). Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Only he can take pollution down to zero! 

Anyway, that's as far as we got. Any other ideas? Do you think Billy Crudup would be down to play another blue, almost naked superhero in case Nic Cage doesn't return our calls? How many boobies should we show? Should we bring back Hitler? Any suggestions are welcome.

Tags: Movies

This year's Comic-Con was filled to the brim with more celebrities than ever before, faces you could recognize from a thousand yards away. Of course, it was also packed with famous, beloved actors that even most hard-core nerds wouldn't recognize, simply because they've never seen their faces. I'm talking about the people who give life to your favorite cartoons and video game characters, voice actors. Today, we have an interview with one such actor (and film maker) who has lent his voice to such classic game series as Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Red Faction and Saints Row and current cartoon sensations like The Emperor’s New School, Justin Cowden.
 
Justin Cowden Voice ActorWhat inspired you to want to do voice acting?

I always loved cartoons! You name it, I watched it; Hanna Barbara, Rankin and Bass, Looney Toons, Mel Blank was the King! But there was actually a moment when I was about eight years old. I grew up in Culver City and they were filming Matlock on my street. I got to meet Kenny Holiday. And when I found out that he was the voice of RoadBlock on GI.Joe, I went nuts. Not only was he the coolest, this guy was the biggest celebrity to me. I haven't seen him since, and I don't think he knows what he did for me. He inspired me. I wanted to be like him.

How did you get your start?

I kind of fell into voice acting. I had gone into an audition for a radio spot. They asked me if I did Spanish, which I do. After that, they sent me up against a bunch of little kids to play a little Latino boy on a cartoon, knowing that my voice wouldn't change and I was an adult. The producers hired me for Ozzy and Drix on Kids WB. That was where I met all my mentors and heroes: Pat Fraley, Rob Paulson, Jeff Bennett, Phill Lammar, Jim Cummings, Frank Welker, Alanna Ubach,Tasia Valenz, Billy West, and Jess Harnell. And that was only a few!!

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AOTS Thursday, July 30

EMorton
Posted July 30, 2009 - By Eugene Morton
whats up
We head East once again to report the weirdest news from around the world, like a Malaysian man's coconut finger smashing record, India's love for cobras and news reenactment with toys in Japan.
the feed
Blair Herter brings a Thursday news feeding with stories about Steve Jobs headlining CES 2010, Dutch courts targeting Pirate Bay and more.
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Beware Apple if you've got an unlocked iPhone. Kevin Pereira talks to Fred von Lohmann from the Electronic Frontier Foundation about Apple's legal claims that hacking the device constitutes copyright infringement.
thirst
Kristin Adams talks to Park Chan-Wook, acclaimed director of Oldboy and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, on his new vampire thriller, Thirst.
attack this
Find the best alcohol accessories for your beer gut, like soap made out of beer, a high-tech bottle opener, a beer robot and a game of Battleshots.
funny people
Alison Haislip sits down with the cast and director of the comedy, Funny People, including Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, and Jonah Hill.
women of the web
Take a trip around the world with the hottest international models found online, like Jessica Gomes from Australia and Yuri Ebihara from Japan. How do you say "can I get your number" in Australian?
atn
Almost Dance Fight, Birdemic, St. Sanders Passing Stones, Palm Pre Traumatizing Edition, Naughty Ska Band.
alison haislip
Kevin Pereira exorcises a demon possessed girl from those Palm Pre commercials.

In Your Pantaloons 07.29.08

EMorton
Posted July 29, 2009 - By Eugene Morton

The temptations of the flesh are plentiful, yet purity is within thine grasp as long as ye show restraint In Your Pantaloons.

In Your Pantaloons 07.29.08My new boyfriend just told me he's a furry. What should I do?

Must ye be told not to lie down with the beast of the field?

I can only have sex with the lights off. Is that weird?

Nay. Clearly, thou art wise and hath discovered that shame shalt protect thee like brass vestments and cover thee like sackcloth.

I'm thinking about introducing "toys" into the bedroom. I'm not sure my wife would enjoy them. What do you think?

Thou art a man, so put away childish things. What place hath a stuffed doll or plastic figurines in love making?

Actual Great Moments in De-Evolution: Internet Memes Art There's a reason why Internet memes exists. No, these fun catchphrases and photos are not a reflection on how far our culture has fallen in terms of wit and creativity, but a reminder that everything on the Internet is pretty much stupid.

So why turn these popular memes into fine art? We already did this with the Great American Keyboard Cat Competition, but fun geeky toy company Archie McPhee is now offering a nice oil painting of their Squirrel Underpants and the Dramatic Praire Dog.

That's right. These viral and short-lived phenomenoms can now be forever remembered by future generations as fine, distinguished and respected art. Yup, that's art taking one step backwards in today's Great Moments in De-Evolution.

It's only a matter of time before the Louvre will have to open up a new wing dedicated to our favorite memes. I'm predicting a whole fall filled with Impressionist-style cat macro paintings next to a marble fountain of the Moshzilla girl.

 

L.A. Erotica Expo 2007 »


AOTS corespondent, Wil O'Neal talks to adult film stars, Jenna Haze, Kaylani Lei, Roxy Jezel and Tyla Wynn about the adult toys and videos available on the showroom floor of the  L.A. Erotica Expo 2007.

Tags: Videos

From the Desk of Bad Ideas: Lightning Reaction XTREME"Red to green, get ready to scream." That's the tag line for the most ominous toy ever created, the Lightning Reaction XTREME from Jumpin' Banana. The game, which supports up to four players, is a delicate mix of Jeopardy and torture, with a little Deer Hunter and Alfred Hitchcock thrown in for good measure.

Allow me to break that down for you, in case you've never played (and if you haven't , good for you). When you turn on the game, choosing either the low or high setting, the white circle in the middle begins to glow red and the device plays a disquieting tune that sounds like a cut from the score of Vertigo. When the music stops, the players must depress the red triggers at the top of the handles as quickly as possible. The last person to hit his or her trigger, or any person who hits their trigger prematurely, gets a fierce, painful jolt sent through their bodies.

"Tee, hee," you say. "I bet it's no worse than those cheesy joy buzzers which don't even hurt," you say. Well, friend, although I understand your credulity regarding the pain this device inflicts, let me tell you now that you're wrong. In fact, I've included quotes from AOTS staffers and Feed writers that might help you understand the gravitas of this supposed child's play thing. These aren't kids either, they're grown ass men (and a grown ass woman)!

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Tags: Comedy

'AOTS' Wednesday, February 25

EMorton
Posted February 25, 2009 - By Eugene Morton
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It's time for your weekly dose of schadenfreude and today we're checking out some videos of old people and the senior moments that take them one step closer to the grave.
Special guests, hot movie coverage, on-location shoots and everything else that only a show like Attack of the Show can show.
It's important to stay abreast on your games, which is why Adam Sessler would like to come on 'AOTS' and tell you about the best downloadable games that are available right now on PSN and Xbox Live, including the 'GTA IV' DLC.
atn
Scooter Crash, Slalom Skateboarding, The Stinger, NaQed Part 2, 'High School Musical' Guy.
musical
After a terribly executed fan video from YouTube showing a kid dancing to 'High School Musical,' the entire studio is overcome by dance fever and the only cure is some hot, hot dance moves.
as20090225_freshink
Blair Butler has a little advice for you on which comic books you need to be picking up at least once a month based on their consistently good issues. She'll talk about 'Battlefields,' 'The Sword,' 'Secret Six,' and other can't misses.
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So, you've got billions of dollars you're sitting on, but when the time comes to make some purchases, Olivia would like to encourage you to grab some rich bastard toys like a bust of your own head or maybe a King Ghidorah sculpture is more your style.
desc
Layla reports the latest on Google's involvement with an anti-trust lawsuit against Microsoft, Perez Hilton's record breaking amount of web views, Michael Cera joining the cast of the 'Arrested Development' movie and more.
Resident Evil...
Asus has proven their meddle with their Eee Netbook, but now they want to get into PCs. But how does the extremely economically priced $600 desktop with a 15" touch screen, built in wi-fi, and the Intel Atom processor stack up to our tests?

AOTS Monday, February 9

EMorton
Posted February 9, 2009 - By Eugene Morton
Resident Evil...
At just three quarters of an inch thick, this pint-sized projector displays up to a 50 inch image, and with a micro SD slot, you can bring up to 16 GB of media anywhere.
Special guests, hot movie coverage, on-location shoots and everything else that only a show like Attack of the Show can show.
It's time for us to once again review your submissions and send some lucky competitors to Japan to compete in the next Ninja Warrior, except this time, Olivia's picking the winners.
atn
Snow Ramp, Cupcake Dog Remix, MMA Punchout, M.I.A. at Grammys, Billy Mays Voice Over.
Attack Of The Show knows what you like, what makes you laugh, and has an exhaustive list of your private information that includes your PIN numbers.
Kevin is MIA-at-the-Grammys type preggers and actually gives birth to his beautiful hambaby live on the show by surprise. Later Kevin and Olivia eat it. Yep.
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We know you've got thousands of dollars lying around just waiting to be spent on optimum relaxation toys, and that's why we've got a list that will help you guide that money to the most deserving pockets.
On set or on location, Attack Of The Show brings you the deets on your favorite things to watch when you're not watching us.
Thomas Dekker plays John Connor in FOX's hit 'Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles' and we've got him live in the studio to talk about set antics, Lena Hadley, who plays Sarah, and Megan Fox.
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Jeff Wong and Chris Gore are back to show us a few flicks featuring China's greatest sexy martial artist, Michelle Yo, including 'Supercop,' 'Tai Chi Master,' and 'Heroic Trio.'
Got a foot fetish? Not that kind, you perv.  The kind that causes you to spend hours in the shoe store? We have help for you.  It's called Sneakerheads.
We take you now to the surreal world of sneakers and sneaker design with Nike's special edition of Coraline Dunks, going for $4,000. Also, how did Kanye West get into designing Louis Vuitton sneakers?
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We're joined by Dan Ackerman of cnet.com to talk about Amazon's recent announcement of the Kindle 2. So, what improvements have been made and is it worth buying?
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It's time for Layla to feed you all the news you need to know about the Amazon Kindle 2, a potential 'Youngblood' movie, and the new, very weird cast of 'Dancing with the Stars.'

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