This example of Russian cross-training utilizes the best of strength exercises traditionally used by bear wrestlers with some unorthodox cardiovascular-cumulative techniques inspired by the mentally ill.

When synthesized in this progressive new form of fitness, it spells doom for bears, capitalism, and his neighbor's vodka cabinets.

Never quite comfortable in its own frame, this bus always felt like it was living a lie every time it passed by a reflective store window.

That's why it will soon undergo vehicle reassignment refitting and will soon be chugging along the railways as it always felt it was meant to do.

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"Yeah, that's right, I have to hop up stairs like I'm some carrot-eating cretin.

Have a look at my legs. They're clearly the punchline in one of nature's limitless array of unfunny jokes.

Logistically, I've gotta do what I've gotta do. So kindly button it with the laughing and the cutesy stuff!"

This group also happen to be robots in disguise...as a legitimate popular toy line.

That being said, the "Framstorners" are committed to distinguishing themselves from those other more well-known Bots with a new film directed by Michael Bay starring Shia LaBeouf and his trusty yellow form-changing robot car creatively known as "Sportscar."

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This misfortune-struck mark was right to be cautious when he was called into this room.

Unfortunately, it wasn't an on-screen scare pop-up that he had to be wary about; it was the hungry, hungry bit of bachelor furniture he was on that needed to feed.

Now, he will find a new definition of pain and suffering as he is slowly digested over 1,000 years.

After this wizard running back managed to slip past the angry Balrog on the narrow bridge, he then made his way down the mountainside and spiked the sacred pigskin of Khazad-dum on the rocks.

This time, everything had gone according to the game-plan in his wizard coach's grimoire.

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This tribute to television's king of makeshift inventions shows that Richard Dean Anderson's US-based secret agent didn't need any of the fancy pre-made gadgets like that English pretty boy with a penchant for fancy drinks.

Armed only with a Swiss Army knife and the know-how to make a nuclear bomb with a phone charger, TV remote, and a Wrigley's wrapper, the case for "The Mac" being the smoothest international badass was clearly and effectively made.

Why would you still get your medicine from hack pharmacies like CVS and Walgreen's?

It seems that in his long hiatus from this mortal coil, Jesus got his MD and has set up shop to write scripts for "glaucoma patients" with a handful of cash who can stay tight-lipped.

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Check out Attack of the Show with Michael Kosta and Candace Bailey! Tonight 7/6c, they bring you Jesse Bradford from Guys with Kids, Jessica Chobot catching up on all the latest news from New York Comic Con about new TV shows like The Following, Arrow and 666 Park Ave. Matt Mira reviews the new iPod Touch for Gadget Pr0n and we discuss the possibility of mass extinction on The Loop. It's important to stay positive, right? Tune in tonight, only on G4!

Either this is an audition tape for Fear Factor or this guy just found an eight-legged intruder on his desk and figured he could save himself the cost of a lunch.

Now, if he could just find some cockroaches and silverfish for sides, he might be able to call it a proper meal.