Food and Drink

How are they supposed to continue this afternoon with the men's no-hands blindfolded clam-eating contest if the girls from the no-hands blindfolded hot-dog-bobbing contest end up breaking all the chairs?

What ever happened to the integrity of pseudo-erotic food-eating competition?

Nobody better lay a finger on my butt finger, because apparently it's going to be needed to enjoy this mysterious ice cream flavor.

[Source]

Uh, I believe I ordered the large deep-fried chocolate fudge french fries. And where's my bacon brownie lard burger?

Gawd! Hurry up! I can feel my triglycerides lowering by the second!

[Source]

"Exciting things are happening at Burger King," indeed.

The most exciting of those things involve licking the tears off the bruised and beaten cheeks of their enemies in an orgasmic rush of schadenfreude.

They're more than happy to tell Ronald to take his Quarter-Pounders and McNuggets off their street and back to Playland.

[Source]

It's the only ice cream that defies the laws of physics, emitting heat steam.

If you wait too long to eat it, it doesn't melt, it just turns to a giant dried chip.

Despite being served in a bowl, you always find a way to step in it.

A number of scientists link the source of this flavor to causes of global warming.

While it appears to have the look and consistency of chocolate, it actually has somewhat of a grassy flavor.

[Source]

A zoetrope is a spinning device that creates an optical illusion of motion. A "caketrope" is the same thing, except made out of cake. Filmmaker Alexander Dubosc created (and possibly invented) his very own for a chocolately, nutty tribute to director Tim Burton. Not only is this adorable, but it also looks quite delicious.

Now can someone make a donut-trope for me?

[Via]

Students at MIT have done the impossible: they've invented LiquiGlide, a special non-toxic coating for the inside of bottles that allows condiments to slide out like...well...liquid! Can you imagine how this will revolutionize the way we eat? No more frustrating shakes of the bottle! No more despair over all that leftover mustard at the bottom of the bottle! And even better, no more embarrassing moments when an enormous glob of ketchup spills all over your french fries!

You guys, the future is here.

What your alcohol is saying to you but you're too drunk to pay attention. So pay attention!

[Via]

Don't let that signature peel and juicy pulp fool you. Oranges are jerks.

[Via]

"You'll love my chocolate milk. It's my favorite thing to violently pump into my rabbit hole next to good, old-fashioned unleaded."

[Source]