"This Pacific Ocean water is sooo pedestrian and bland.

I prefer to get my refreshment water imported in bottles from the Arctic Ocean where it's cleaner and tastes less like...you people.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to my 12:00 tentacure appointment."

[Source]

Stick-Shift: The Ultimate Carjacking Deterrent.

This heat-toting-halfwit must be reevaluating his career as a carjacker, seeing as this meager attempt to nab this little truck was dampened by his inability to take it out of the parking lot without turning the transmission into a pepper grinder.

Looks like it's time to bring those ambitions down a slight notch and stick to stealing bicycles.

Michael Kosta and Candace Bailey team up again for another Attack of the Show with Rob Riggle live in studio for his new film, Nature Calls with Patton Oswalt while Jessica Chobot checks out some of the freakiest films at New York Comic Con, like Carrie and Evil Dead! We cover the scariest apps for Halloween and the art of brewing your own beer. Tune in tonight 7/6c.

This could be taken as a genuine attempt to bring women's issue to new demographics or just a guy committed to rescuing boobs.

It may be the case that the unlikely pairing of Susan G. Komen for the Cure and WWE Wrestling has lead to a slippery slope of "alternative" strategies for breast cancer awareness.

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This senseless suckling was looking for a quick hit of mother's milk.

Unfortunately, all it was going to get was a musty, vinegary taste from both of this Great Dane's Scooby Snacks.

...Either that or it is a conscientious proponent of pet neutering and simply attempted to get a bit proactive.

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Certainly living up to its name of Waterford, this Irish train station may have to make their trains watertight with an installed outboard motor if they wish to continue running on time.

Of course, diligent engineers would be paddling by in a series of strung dinghies, making all the proper stops. I guess they just lost the passion for their work.

[Source]

In the world of bad decisions, the classic "drunken tattoo" ranks high. However, this guy is bucking the system with an inebriated attempt of his own with a "drunken tattoo removal."

While the Internet has shown us some hardcore homebrew methods of ink removal involving irons and graters, this searing use of an eating utensil proves that the old fail adage "stick a fork in it" can have multiple meanings.

While this hardly appears to be official merchandise for The Jungle Book, it may be the case that this ill-conceived wall fixture was designed for someone with an irrational hatred of wolf cubs.

It looks like they're getting more than "the bare necessities" slapped on their faces multiple times on a daily basis.

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"What is this? Why won't it get off me?

Is it a tumor? It could be a tumor! I've callously swatted at so many party balloons in my lifetime that maybe karma finally caught up to me in the form of this crotch balloon tumor.

No, don't pop it! The last thing I want to do is get sent flying across the room into a wall because of this thing."

The entrance to this cozy café is naturally located in the back.

Upon arrival, you'll be greeted by a hostess who shows you to a dining room that, rather than containing proper chairs, sports a series of doctor's office beds with people laying face down.

Whatever you do, just don't order the T-bone.

[Source]