Movies

"Breaker, breaker, 1-2. Uhhh, check, check one sibilance, sibilance. I, like need some help here, or something.

Sure, I may have been late for my flight, but when I finally got here, the gate was closed, no one was behind the desk, and no other passengers were waiting around.

What could this all mean? Is this an episode of The Twilight Zone or its movie spinoff with the wussy vampire and his mopey teenage chick?"

It seems that whoever was responsible for the images used in this local newscast was distracted with remaining excitement over The Expendables 2, causing it to overshadow the tragic passing of Michael Clarke Duncan.

He'll always be remembered for his groundbreaking role in The Green Mile...and his talking abs in the Old Spice commercials.

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With some slight modifications to the dialogue by the folks at BadLipReading, the gloomy love story of 100+ year-old emo vampires who perpetually maintain a social circle of teenagers becomes something far more palatable.

Now, we have an epic love story about a vampire who is addicted to slapping and punching fish who meets an expression-deprived girl who spits on siblings for fun.

Suddenly, the saying, "still a better love story than Twilight" is validated in a whole new way.

Being at Dragon*Con is like being in an alternate universe where characters like The Avengers, Batman, Doctor Who and Master Chief are real. It's a nerd fantasy come to life, and if you couldn't be in attendance this year, then you owe it to yourself to meticulously pour over the galleries of Dragon*Con 2012 cosplay pics that we've so lovingly assembled.

Just take care not to become so transfixed by our Dragon*Con costume photos that you start missing work or school… or do. The authority figures that rule your life will completely understand, we promise.

And by "20% off," they mean that they will take any book you try to buy with this coupon over to a bandsaw and physically cut-away 20% of the book.

They figure you won't care, since most book readers don't even make it halfway through the book and just end up waiting for the movie, anyway.

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"No, no, no, nooo!!!

Stopping a moving train looked so easy in Spider-Man 2! I forgot that I can't shoot webs, don't have super-powers, and that movies aren't real!

Come on! Why did I have to pick the one train that doesn't stop at train stations? "

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Sure, she's gained Spider-Man-like powers and can now mimic any outfit she wants. 

Unfortunately, it comes at the cost of being enslaved by a mercurial symbiotic alien creature that makes you have extremely bad dental hygiene and a bizarre appetite for brains.

Good thing this is just well-executed face-paint, because fashion is not worth all of that.

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The cast of The Real World: Gotham only needed two people, and for good reason: Chemistry.

Now, the hero Gotham deserves and the man who once swore to be its reckoning are forced to share a claustrophobically-small studio apartment, essentially ensuring that their epic battles continue...over bathroom time.

When they order Chinese take-out and the check is fairly-split, they have Bane's permission to dine.

After the news hit about The Hobbit films becoming a trilogy, this past weekend would see the announcement of the changes made to the release schedule, specifically for the second and third films.

With the first film, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey pretty much set in stone for December 14, 2012, it was revealed that the second film will now be called The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, set for December 13, 2013, followed by the third and final film, The Hobbit: There and Back Again (previously the title of the second film,) now set to for July 18, 2014.

How much of an effect will it have?

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Who says Lee Christmas only comes once a year?

YouTube user, roowlant, has showcased this freakishly-accurate impression of The Expendables 2 star, Jason Statham, nailing the badass Brit's cockney accent impeccably.

For a good minute, you'll think you've found yourself in a Guy Ritchie movie, planning a heist of some kind over a webcam.