Food and Drink

When you pick up a fish that's too sexy, it's kind of a double-edged sword. You'll want to eat it, but in the wrong way.

It's going to take a lot of willpower to slice-up and cook that seductive piece of seafood. However, should you overcome it, the result is an explosive aphrodisiac in your mouth.

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The sign makes a salient point. Why get overly-analytical and philosophical about stuff in the world?

Sometimes a beer is an end unto itself, so why fight it with semantics?

Deep stuff, right here.

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Either there's a lucrative market in snacks for baby birds or the food industry has turned to bone-skinny supermodels to provide a new type of product.

It's important that we don't get this confused with this brand's main competitor, "Chuck''s Chunky Upchuck."

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At this Japanese restaurant, you toss a salad as you're eating the entrée.

I don't know what those boat hippies on Whale Wars are so uptight about; especially when the result is a yummy piece of sushi that's literally uptight.

It's one of the few sushi dishes that's prepared with fisting techniques.

I wonder if whales with hemorrhoids are sought after. You know, "more bang for the buck?"

**Walking away from it now.**

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It appears that celebrity chef, Emeril Lagasse is using his signature line of foods as an intricate nationwide operation to finally make the insult, "that's not what your mother said last night" into a reality.

Keep your mom away if you don't want him dramatically adding any ingredients to her.

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No wonder this restaurant guarantees the "freshest ingredients possible."

It's reassuring to know that even as tough as the restaurant industry really is, that your barbecue pork was barking uncontrollably just a few short hours ago.

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"Oh, you want me to stop eating your dinner? Well, I want my body covered in fur like a normal cat, but God saw fit to deny me that. So, the way I see it, that meat's mine.

Sooo, you know...suck it."

When making your selections for what you want cooked on the wok at a Chinese buffet's Mongolian barbecue, it's best to remember that selecting the right vegetables determines how your meat turns out.

Not having broccori is like having a salad without rettuce.

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Damn, I hate getting stuck behind little dogs in the drive-thru. They always insist on paying with loose change they find on the ground and the employees take FOREVER to count it all.

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Sure, there are more modern methods to manufacture the Japanese snack, mochi; ones that don't leave you susceptible to having every bone in your hand shattered by giant mallets.

However, for some, it is in the preparation itself where the tradition lies. That's what makes this display of green mochi whack-a-mole so impressive.

Next on the agenda: Preparing sushi the old-fashioned way; with a rolling mat and a 12-gauge shotgun.