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Squeezed Only From The Finest Asses

Posted October 22, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Squeezed Only From The Finest Asses

The variety of bottles represented in this ad are not supposed to be different flavors so much as they are the foods that the people were eating before the juice was naturally processed and extracted.

It's probably no coincidence that stores keep these drinks located near the laxatives section.


The first three Paranormal Activity films grossed a combined worldwide total of nearly $577 million with production costs that are probably dwarfed by the check from your last dinner at Applebee's.

Thus, the reason that this weekend's launch of Paranormal Activity 4 is happening and predicted to hit big is hardly supernatural.

The latest honest trailer from the folks at Screen Junkies shows us that the Blair Witch phenomena back in 1999 would be far from the last time moviegoers would get sucked into the genre of "star-less, crudely-produced, mundane home movie horror."

This go-getting gato certainly knows how to think outside the litter box.

Seeing his puerile peers struggle to climb this stack of cages, this feline fixer of failures utilized some quick thinking and came up with a solution that renders things to a state requiring the least amount of work.

In other words, this cat possesses the primary attribute of all great inventors: A desire to sustain laziness.

Why Would Gulliver Travel There?

Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Why Would Gulliver Travel There?

Perhaps looking to get itself far away and buried deep from the 2010 box-office bomb starring Jack Black, this version decided to go down a different direction.

We'll have to see what the critics do to penetrate deep into the film and shed some light.


Raccoon Vs. A Lot Of Chimps

Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This video proves that should the Planet of the Apes ever "rise," that the best chances of survival rest with raccoons.

This poor nocturnal numskull found itself trapped in a zoo enclosure with a bunch of curious chimps that would sooner chuck it against a wall than feed it scraps.

Nevertheless, the cornered critter handles this dire emergency with such extreme smoothness, it makes you wonder how they still get themselves hit by cars.

Justice League Looks For A 2015 Showdown

It looks like the Justice League could be ready to give some heavy competition to The Avengers sequel.

At this point, it appears that Summer 2015 is the target release period for this dream film, which Warner Bros studio hopes to begin shooting as soon as next year.

With the announcement yesterday that Warner is indeed moving forward with their own answer to the big-screen dream crossover, it seems that their ambitions won't be diminished by Marvel's over $1.5 billion money-making machine. Thus, 2015 could be the year that two of the biggest titans in the history of comic book films square-off.

What will DC have up their sleeves to unseat the current champs at Marvel?

Read More »

Skrillex In Back To The Future

Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This video shows how Back to the Future would have gone if Marty McFly traded his guitar for a MacBook.

1955 was a different, more innocent time when teens were discovering rock and roll while worrying about whether or not the Soviet Union would drop The Bomb.

However, who would have ever thought that the Enchantment Under the Sea dance that year would end up being the place where something very different would drop: The Bass.

Meanwhile, Marty's future counterpart is preoccupied with trying to delete Gray's Sports Almanac from Biff's iPad.

Spanish And French Are Officially Covered

This is a perfect example of what happens when you hire design people who take their instructions far too literally while continuing to inject their former career as monster truck commercial announcers into the project.

I guess speakers of French and Spanish can at least take some solace that the makers took time to give them a bit of a shout-out.


Gecko Eating A Cheerio

Posted October 19, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

It looks like the marketing team over at GEICO are making radical, sexy changes to the personality of their mascot to appeal more to women.

He's not even going to bother trying to charm you with his ambiguously-located cockney accent; not when he has the power to make you wish you were a piece of healthy breakfast cereal.

It seems that the "o" in Cheerios has been redefined.

He Was In The Mood For Grilled Cheese

When you're craving a grilled cheese sandwich, a couple slices of Wonder Bread housing a crusty piece of cheddar sloppily wrapped in wax paper isn't going to do the job.

That's why innovators like this kid, armed with nothing but a Foreman Grill and a big set of balls are here to show those lunch ladies that there's a better way to attend to the culinary needs of growing high-schoolers.


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