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Food and Drink

One Way To Deal With A Father-In-Law

I think this menu entry was inspired from the porn version of the Meet the Parents movie series.

Let's just hope for the sake of logistics that the sausage doesn't come covered in syrup, because then things could get sticky and awkward.

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This Water Flavor Seems Colder

Regular water is good and all, but when it's flavored with ice, it adds a tangy, sweet hint of extra water that completely enhances the experience.

Only educated water palettes can appreciate that level of subtlety.

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Frog Sushi Is Extremely Fresh

Baxter
Posted June 29, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Warning: Disturbing Imagery.

Clearly, cultural nuances make "fresh" foods like dancing squid and dancing eels acceptable in many countries around the world.

However, this one just might take the crown as the most startling, as the decapitated head of the frog seemingly watches and blinks as the customer consumes its body as sushi and boil some of it as a soup.

Make no mistake, the frog is already dead (despite YouTube commenters not wanting to believe that,) but I cannot imagine this will be on western menus anytime soon. -- Although there was a chance of it happening in the 90's when that WB Frog was annoying the hell out of everyone.

I Guess That's The Not-So-Secret Ingredient

Okay, I guess I'll try the s**tty house fried rice with a side of steamed s**t-mai, and maybe some deep-fried s**trolls.

I hear good things about this place, but apparently it's the only restaurant in the area that actually gets its stock from septic services.

[Source]

That Stripper Is A Total Pig!

Baxter
Posted June 29, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Great. While the ladies drool over hunky dudes in Magic Mike, we're stuck at this party with Slutty Miss Piggy.

In the very least, they could have given us someone from the A-B teams in the roster of pig strippers. Oh, and look at those teats; all six of them look fake as hell. You can even see the surgical scars if you look real close.

Man, Jules from Pulp Fiction was right, pigs are filthy animals.

Barbequing In The Rain

Baxter
Posted June 27, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This man in Sweden isn't going to let a little rain stop his barbeque plans.

It's the perfect metaphor for life. Just grab an umbrella and keep on grilling!

Sure, the burger patties will be soggy and the buns will disintegrate in your hands within minutes of grabbing them, but dammit, summer barbeques are about families who come together to share good home cooking and a bout of pneumonia.

McFuneral

Baxter
Posted June 27, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

McFuneral

"What's the big deal? This dude in the back is still going to be dead whether we stop for Mickey D's or not and I'm willing to bet that he won't be objecting anytime soon.

When you get a craving for McNuggets and chocolate shakes, it absolutely must be satiated."

[Source]

The News Really Likes Krispy Kreme

"That's because it is our understanding that Krispy Kreme puts crack in their donuts which make seemingly upstanding citizens do trashy and degrading things just for kicks.

I myself woke up in a bed this morning in a seedy motel with 4 people whose gender I'm still not able to discern and a needle stuck in my arm; all thanks to that wheat donut."

[Source] (Uncensored)

Microwave Has Baby Setting

Baxter
Posted June 25, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Microwave Has Baby Setting

Every microwave gourmet can attest to the difficulty of cooking "healthy baby."

Thankfully, this model comes with a preset which handles it precisely and delicately.

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This Fat Burger Has A Little Meat

This ground chuck is probably from Paula Deen's signature line of fat patties which are lined with some meat just for the sake of texture.

With the Fourth of July quickly approaching, what better thing could you get to throw on that barbeque grill than a bunch of patties that will light up like a nuclear explosion the moment they hit the fire?

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